to the conductor.

"Say, conductor," he whispered, hoarsely, "did that man I was talking to
get off at the last station?"

"Yes, sir; did you lose anything?"

The human benefactor smiled sadly.

"Not in comparison with what the world has lost," he replied. "The human
race has lost one of those priceless ideas which, in the course of
centuries, sometimes come to real genius only to be abandoned. I lost
only my watch."

THE SILVER LINING

He was a Scot, with the usual thrifty characteristics of his race.
Wishing to know his fate, he telegraphed a proposal of marriage to the
lady of his choice. After waiting all day at the telegraph office he
received an affirmative answer late at night.

"Well, if I were you," said the operator who delivered the message, "I'd
think twice before I'd marry a girl who kept me waiting so long for an
answer."

"Na, na," replied the Scot. "The lass for me is the lass wha waits for
the night rates."

FRENCH POLITENESS

As a truly polite nation the French undoubtedly lead the world, thinks a
contributor to a British weekly. The other day a Paris dentist's servant
opened the door to a woebegone patient.

"And who, monsieur," he queried in a tender tone, "shall I have the
misery of announcing?"

SIMPLE FAITH

The Methodist minister in a small country town was noted for his begging
propensities and for his ability to extract generous offerings from the
close-fisted congregation, which was made up mostly of farmers. One day
the young son of one of the members accidentally swallowed a ten-cent
piece, much to the excitement of the rest of the family. Every means of
dislodging the coin had failed and the frightened parents were about to
give up in despair when a bright thought struck the little daughter, who
exclaimed: "Oh, mamma, I know how you can get it! Send for our minister;
he'll get it out of him!"

LIMITED DISSIPATION

A small, hen-pecked, worried-looking man was about to take an
examination for life insurance.

"You don't dissipate, do you?" asked the physician, as he made ready for
tests. "Not a fast liver, or anything of that sort?"

The little man hesitated a moment, looked a bit frightened, then
replied, in a small, piping voice: "I sometimes chew a little gum."

THE LIMIT

The manager of a factory recently engaged a new man and gave
instructions to the foreman to instruct him in his duties. A few days
afterward the manager inquired whether the new