se. I vera busy worka da mine."

A HARD KNOCK

During the cross-examination of a young physician in a lawsuit, the
plaintiff's lawyer made disagreeable remarks about the witness's youth
and inexperience.

"You claim to be acquainted with the various symptoms attending
concussion of the brain?" asked the lawyer.

"I do."

"We will take a concrete case," continued the lawyer. "If my learned
friend, counsel for the defence, and myself were to bang our heads
together, would he get concussion of the brain?"

The young physician smiled. "The probabilities are," he replied, "that
the counsel for the defence would."

DURABLE

The admiration which Bob felt for his Aunt Margaret included all her
attributes.

"I don't care much for plain teeth like mine, Aunt Margaret," said Bob,
one day, after a long silence, during which he had watched her in
laughing conversation with his mother. "I wish I had some copper-toed
ones like yours."

ACCURACY

An American editor had a notice stuck up above his desk that read:
"Accuracy! Accuracy! Accuracy!" and this notice he always pointed out to
the new reporters.

One day the youngest member of the staff came in with his report of a
public meeting. The editor read it through, and came to the sentence:
"Three thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine eyes were fixed upon the
speaker."

"What do you mean by making a silly blunder like that?" he demanded,
wrathfully.

"But it's not a blunder," protested the youngster. "There was a one-eyed
man in the audience!"

HAD HIS RIGHTS

"Why did you strike this man?" asked the Judge sternly.

"He called me a liar, your honor," replied the accused.

"Is that true?" asked the Judge, turning to the man with the mussed-up
face.

"Sure, it's true," said the accused, "I called him a liar because he is
one, and I can prove it."

"What have you got to say to that?" asked the Judge of the defendant.

"It's got nothing to do with the case, your honor," was the unexpected
reply. "Even if I am a liar I guess I've got a right to be sensitive
about it, ain't I?"

A READY-WITTED PARSON

The evening lesson was from the Book of Job, and the minister had just
read, "Yea, the light of the wicked shall be put out," when immediately
the church was in total darkness.

"Brethren," said the minister, with scarcely a moment's pause, "in view
of the sudden and startling fulfilment of this prophecy, we will spend a
few minutes in silent prayer