to shine half so brilliantly."

LAST RESORT

Anybody who, a stranger, has tried to find his way about Boston will
understand the experience of Mr. Hubb, a native who was addressed by his
friend Mr. Penn, from Philadelphia.

"They say," remarked Mr. Penn, "the streets in Boston are frightfully
crooked."

"They are," replied Mr. Hubb. "Why, do you know, when I first went there
I could hardly find my way around."

"That must be embarrassing."

"It is. The first week I was there I wanted to get rid of an old cat we
had, and my wife got me to take it to the river a mile away."

"And you lost the cat all right?"

"Lost nothing! I never would have found my way home if I hadn't followed
the cat!"

LOOKED THAT WAY

Doris was radiant over a recent addition to the family, and rushed out
of the house to tell the news to a passing neighbor.

"Oh, you don't know what we've got upstairs."

"What is it?" the neighbor asked.

"A new baby brother," said Doris, and she watched very closely the
effect of her announcement.

"You don't say so," the neighbor exclaimed. "Is he going to stay?"

"I think so," said Doris. "He's got his things off."

COMRADES

In a trench over in Flanders, during a slight lull in the engagement, a
soldier was making an impromptu toilet. He lowered his head for an
instant and thereby caught a cootie. As he did so, a shell fragment flew
by, just where his head had been. He held the cootie in hand
meditatively for a moment, and then said:

"Old fellow, Oi cawnt give you the Victoria Cross, but I can put you
back!"

COMPARISON

One of the ladies who first introduced interpretative dancing--whatever
that is--into this country has fleshened up considerably since the days
of her initial terpsichorean triumphs among the society folk along the
eastern sea-board. Nevertheless, she continues to give performances to
select audiences of artistic souls.

Not long ago Finley Peter Dunne, the humorist, was lured to one of these
entertainments. The lady, wearing very few clothes, and, as a result of
their lack, looking even plumper than usual, danced in an effect of
moonlight calcium beams.

As Dunne was leaving, one of the patronesses hailed him.

"Oh, Mr. Dunne," she twittered, "how did you enjoy the madame's
dancing?"

"Immensely," said Dunne. "Made me think of Grant's Tomb in love."

"NEXT!"

The wonders of modern science never cease to be of absorbing interest
and even the follow