Variation of Phrases. Thanksgiving after Meat._

AUSTIN, CHRISTIAN, _a_ BOY.

_Au._ O, my _Christian_, God bless you.

_Ch._ It is very well that you are come. I am glad you're come. I
congratulate myself that you are come. I believe it has not struck five
yet.

_Boy._ Yes, it is a good While past five. It is not far from six. It is
almost six. You'll hear it strike six presently.

_Au._ It is no great Matter whether I come before five or after five, as
long as I am not come after Supper; for that is a miserable Thing, to
come after a Feast is over. What's all this great Preparation for? What
means all this Provision? What, do you think I'm a Wolf? Do you take me
for a Wolf? Do you think I'm a Vulture?

_Ch._ Not a Vulture, nor yet do I think you a Grashopper, to live upon
Dew. Here is nothing of Extravagancy, I always lov'd Neatness, and abhor
Slovenliness. I am for being neither luxurious nor niggardly. We had
better leave than lack. If I dress'd but one Dish of Peas, and the Soot
should chance to fall in the Pot and spoil it, what should we have to
eat then? Nor does every Body love one Thing; therefore I love a
moderate Variety.

_Au._ An't you afraid of the sumptuary Laws?

_Ch._ Nay, I most commonly offend on the contrary Side. There is no need
of the _Fannian_ Law at our House. The Slenderness of my Income teaches
me Frugality sufficiently.

_Au._ This is contrary to our Agreement. You promised me quite
otherwise.

_Ch._ Well, Mr. Fool, you don't stand to your Agreement. For it was
agreed upon that you should bring nothing but merry Tales. But let us
have done with these Matters, and wash, and sit down to Supper. Soho,
Boy, bring a little Water and a Bason; hang a Towel over your Shoulder,
pour out some Water. What do you loiter for? Wash, _Austin_.

_Au._ Do you wash first.

_Ch._ Pray excuse me. I had rather eat my Supper with unwashen Hands
this twelve Months.

_Au._ O ridiculous! 'Tis not he that is the most honourable, but he
that is the dirtiest that should wash first; then do you wash as the
dirtiest.

_Ch._ You are too complaisant. You are more complaisant than enough;
than is fitting. But to what Purpose is all this Ceremony? Let us leave
these trifling Ceremonies to Women, they are quite kick'd out of the
Court already, although they came from thence at first. Wash three or
four at a Time. Don't let us spend the Time in these Delays. I won't
place any Body, let every one take wh