wn, get the fellow ashore if you can, talk to him, soft
soap him, ask him if he won't pay if he has luck in California, &c., and
so on, and when you've got him a hundred yards from the vessel, knock
him down, pummel him well; I'll have an officer ready to arrest both of
you for breach of the peace; when you are brought up, I'll have a
_charge_ made out against Cutaway for something or other, and if he
don't fork out and clear, I'm mistaken,' said Van. I followed his advice
to the letter; I pummelled Cutaway well; we were taken up and fined, and
Cutaway was in a great hurry to say but little and get off. But Van and
the _writ_ appeared. Cutaway looked streaked--he was alarmed. In two
hours' time he disgorged not only my bill, but a bill of forty dollars
costs! He then cut for the ship, the meanest looking white man you ever
saw!"

If Mr. Cutaway don't take the _force_ of that moral, _salt_ won't save
him.

Wonders of the Day.

The "firm" who save a hogshead of ink, annually, by not allowing their
clerks and book-keepers to dot their i's or cross their t's, are now
bargaining (with the old school gentlemen who split a knife that cost a
fourpence, in skinning a flea for his hide and tallow!) for a
two-pronged pen, which cuts short business letters and printed
bill-heads, by enabling a clerk to write on both sides of the paper, two
lines at a time. Great improvement on the old method, ain't it?

"Don't Know You, Sir!"

We shall never forget, and always feel proud of the fact, that we _knew_
so great an every-day _Plato_ as Davy Crockett. Had the old Colonel
never uttered a better idea than that everlasting good motto--"Be sure
you're right, then go ahead!" his wisdom would stand a pretty good
wrestle with tide and time, before his standing, as a man of genius,
would pass to oblivion--be washed out in Lethe's waters. We remember
hearing Col. Crockett relate, during a "speech," a short time before he
lost his life at the _Alamo_, in Texas--a little incident, of his being
taken up in New Orleans, one night, by a _gen d'arme_--lugged to the
calaboose, and kept there as an out-and-out "hard case," not being able
to find any body, hardly, that knew him, and being totally unable to
reconcile the chief of police to the fact that he _was_ the identical
Davy Crockett, or any body else, above par! "If you want to find out
your 'level,'--_ad valorem_, wake up some morning, noon or night--_where
nobody knows you!_"