sugar plums, you know, but my wife is a real woman!"

"Yes, Pete, she is all that," said we.

"Well, ain't I square with the world? Enough laid up for a wet
day--don't care twopence ha'penny for politics, or soldier
fol-de-rols--who wins or who loses in such hums?"

"Granted, old fellow."

"I tell you I've a perfect little paradise of a house engaged, furnished
and provisioned for a twelvemonth."

"No doubt of all that."

"As to friends and acquaintances, I have plenty, and of the right
stripe, too; I'd swear to that without any reluctance."

"I hope, Peter, you have."

"Then what in faith do you imagine I have in embryo to upset or disturb
the even tenor of my way, old boy? Come, answer that."

"Does your domestic apparatus work well?"

"I haven't tried it yet."

"Are your appurtenances--your household appointments--from kitchen to
parlor, from coal cellar to top scuttle, all they are cracked up to be?"

"Well, you see, the fact is, I can't tell that, yet."

"Do your chimneys draw? Does your range or cooking stove do things up
brown? Have you got your Bettys?"

"I vow you've sort of got me this time, brother Jack; but I'll find out,
soon, and let you know."

"Do, if you please, Peter, and let us hear an account of how things are
working after the first quarter's experience."

Perriwinkle opened with a neat supper party. We attended, and every
thing looked cap-a-pie; new, tasteful and happy as any thing human
under God's providence and the art and judgment of man could promise. At
midnight the company dispersed, all wishing the Perriwinkles life, love,
and lots of the small fry.

Months passed, full three; we met our old and familiar friend, Peter
Perriwinkle, and as we had not seen him for some time, we met with
greetings most cordial.

"How is every thing, old boy--paradise regained?"

"Ah," said Peter, with an ominous shake of the head, "dear Jack,--we've
a great deal to learn in this world, and as our old friend Sam Veller
says, whether its worth while to pay so much to learn so little, at
cost--is a question."

"You begin to think so, eh?"

"Things don't work quite so smooth as I expected--I've moved!"

"What? Not so soon?"

"Yes, sir," said Perriwinkle; "that house was a nuisance!"

"A nuisance? Why, I thought you were in raptures with it?"

"Had water every wet spell, knee-deep in the cellar; full of rats, bugs,
and foul air."

"You don't say so?"

"Yes, I do," said Perriwinkle