s in my power to settle it, I shall be
most happy to do so. You infernal old rogues you, you whipped me for
evincing a due regard and love for my wife, and now, lest you perpetrate
the outrage again 'gainst all law and reason, I'll give you a lesson
that will last your lifetime. Boatswain, strip each of these rogues to
the waist, lash them fast and put on your cat-o'-nine tails forty
stripes each!"

The boatswain, mid the laugh and acclamation of the whole crew, went to
the work with a hearty good will, and after giving the magistrates and
selectmen a fine dressing all around, he cut them loose, put them in
their boat, and the ship set sail down the harbor and soon disappeared
in the dim dist cut ocean.

Mysteries and Miseries of Housekeeping.

People of experience tell awful stories about the miseries of boarding,
and boarding-houses, and it is very clearly palpable to us that keepers
of boarding-houses could a tale unfold of their own miseries, equal, if
not double that of the luckless creatures who board. That housekeeping
has its joys it would be vain to deny, but we need no ghost come from
the grave to inform us that the secrets of the kitchen are as numerous
and as harrowing, as all can attest that ever had occasion to keep house
or hire a "Betty."

When Mr. Peter Perriwinkle got married, he exclaimed against hotels, and
abominated boarding-houses; quitting both species of human habitations,
he "up" and rented a house, and to hear his glowing description of the
house--such a cosy little three-storied brick house, on a street too
broad for the neighbors opposite to see into his front parlors, and no
houses in the rear from which the prying eye of the curious and idle
could spy into back kitchen closets or dinner pots--in brief,
Perriwinkle went on with that strain of domestic eloquence, peculiar to
new beginners in the arts and mysteries of housekeeping, and after a
general detail of the quiet comfort and unalloyed happiness he and Mrs.
P. were bound to enjoy for the balance of their lives, we merely
observed--

"Ah, my dear sir, you've but the ephemeral bright side of your vision
yet. But no matter, dear Pete, as the man said of the sausages--hope for
the best, but be prepared for the worst."

"But, brother Jack, I've no reason to look for any thing but a good
time. Haven't I married one of the best women in the world? I'm too
experienced in life, my boy, to call any female women angels, doves, or