n desks, and cubber-doors, and so on?"

"Yes; they are used in a hundred ways."

"Hinges," says the Yankee, after a pause, "ain't considered, I guess, a
very neuw invenshun?"

"I should think not," half smilingly replied the clerk.

"D'yeou ever see wooden hinges, mister?"

"Never," candidly responded the clerk.

"Well, I _hev_," resolutely echoed the Yankee.

"You have, eh?"

"E' yes, plenty on 'em--eout in Illinoi; seen fellers eout there that
never seen an iron hinge or a razor in their lives!"

"I wasn't aware our western friends were so far behind the times as
that," said the clerk.

"It's a _fact_--dreadful, tew, to be eout in a place like that,"
continued the Yankee. "I kept school eout there, nigh on to a year;
couldn't stand it--"

"Ah, indeed!" mechanically echoed the poor clerk.

"No, _sir_; dreadful place, some parts of Illinoi; folks air almighty
green; couldn't tell how old they air, nuff on 'em; when they get mighty
old and bald-headed, they stop and die off, of their own accord."

"Illinois must be a healthy place?" observed the clerk.

"Healthy place! I guess not, mister; fever and ague sweetens 'em, I tell
you. O, it's dreadful, fever and ague is!"

"That caused you to leave, I suppose?" said the clerk.

"Well, e' yes, partly; the climate, morals, and the water, kind o' went
agin me. The big boys had a way o' fightin', cursin', and swearin',
pitchin' apple cores and corn at the master, that didn't exactly suit
me. Finally, one day, at last, the boys got so confeounded sassy, and I
got the fever and agy so _bad_, that they shook daown the school-house
chimney, and I shook my hair nearly all eout by the roots, with the
_agy_--so I packed up and _slid!_"

The clerk being again called away to wait on a fresh customer, the
Yankee was left to his meditations and survey. Having some twenty more
minutes to walk around the store, and examine the stock, he brought up
opposite the clerk, who was busy tying up gimlets, screws, and stuff,
for a carpenter's apprentice. Yankee explodes again.

"Got a big steore of goods layin' areound here, haven't yeou?"

"We have, sir, a fair assortment," said the clerk.

"Them Illinoi folks haven't no _idee_ what a place this Boston is; they
haven't. I tried to larn 'em a few things towards civilization, but
'twaren't no sort o' use tryin'!"

"New country yet; the Illinois folks will brighten up after a while, I
guess," said the clerk. "Did you wish to ex