the hog in the barrel _before
he got through squealin'!_

"Hello! Say!--'Squire, gone?"

The old gent was--_gone_; the _last brick_ hit him!

German Caution

Some ten years since, an old Dutchman purchased in the vicinity of
Brooklyn, a snug little farm for nine thousand dollars. Last week, a lot
of land speculators called on him to "buy him out." On asking his price,
he said he would take "sixty tousand dollars--no less."

"And how much may remain on bond and mortgage?"

"Nine tousand dollars."

"And why not more," replied the would-be purchasers.

"Because der tam place ain't worth any more."

Ain't that Dutch.

Ben. McConachy's Great Dog Sell.

A great many dogmas have been written, and may continue to be written,
on dogs. Confessing, once, to a dogmatical regard for dogs, we "went in"
for the canine race, with a zeal we have bravely outgrown; and we live
to wonder how men--to say nothing of spinsters of an uncertain age--can
heap money and affections upon these four-legged brutes, whose sole
utility is to doze in the corner or kennel, terrify stray children,
annoy horsemen, and keep wholesome meat from the stomachs of many a
poor, starving beggar at your back gate. There is no use for dogs in the
city, and precious little _use_ for them any where else; and as _Boz_
says of oysters--you always find a preponderance of dogs where you find
the most poor people. Philadelphia's the place for dogs; in the suburbs,
especially after night, if you escape from the onslaught of the rowdies,
you will find the dogs a still greater and more atrocious nuisance. No
rowdy, or gentleman at large, in the _Quaker City_, feels _finished_,
without a lean, lank, hollow dog trotting along at their heels; while
the butchers and horse-dealers revel in a profusion of mastiffs and
dastardly curs, perfectly astounding--to us. This brings us to a short
and rather pithy story of a dog _sell_.

Some years ago, a knot of men about town, gentlemen highly "posted up"
on dogs, and who could talk _hoss_ and dog equal to a Lord Bentick, or
Hiram Woodruff, or "Acorn," or Col. Bill Porter, of the "Spirit," were
congregated in a famous resort, a place known as _Hollahan's_. A
dog-fight that afternoon, under the "Linden trees," in front of the
"State House," gave rise to a spirited debate upon the result of the
battle, and the respective merits of the two dogs. Words waxed warm, and
the disputants grew boisterously eloquent upo