Cap'n----"

"No! nor I don't care, you swab!" cries the excited Captain. "Bear away
out of here," he continued, beginning to get down the glasses from the
corner-cupboard shelves, "unless--but stop! hold on! here, take this
waiter, Jones, and bear a hand with the grog, unless you want to stand
by, and see the ship's company go down by the lifts and braces, dry as
powder-monkeys! There; now pipe all hands--ship aho-o-o-oy!" bawls the
old Captain; "bear up, the whole fleet! Now splice the main-brace! Don't
nobody stand back, like loblolly boys at a funeral--come up and try
Capt. Figgles's grog!"

And up they came, the entire crew, old Ebenezer to the _le'ard_,
sweating like an ox, and laying off for the piping bowl he knew he was
"in for" from the hands of his indulgent old master.

In the mean time, the marriage ceremony had had its hour, and the bride
and bridegroom were "skylarking" with the rest of the company as
happily together as turtle-doves in a clover-patch. The evening's
entertainment wound up with an old-fashioned dance, and the quilting
ended. Dr. Mutandis lived some five miles distant, and having a call to
make the next morning near Capt. Figgles's farm, Dr. M. concluded to
stop with the Captain. As Capt. Tiller was leaving, he took occasion to
whisper into the ear of his medical friend--

"I wish you much joy, my fine fellow; you're married, if you did but
know it--fast as a church! Good time to you and Betsy!"

"The devil!" says the Doctor, musingly; "it strikes me, since I come to
think it over, that the laws of this State do privilege anybody to marry
a couple! By thunder! it would be a fine spot of work for me if I was
held to the ceremony by Miss Figgles!"

But the Doctor kept quiet, and next morning, after breakfast, he
departed upon his business. He had no sooner entered the house of his
patient, than he was wished much joy and congratulated upon the
_fatness_ and jolly good nature of his bride!

"But," says the Doctor, "you're mistaken in this affair. It's all a
hoax--a mere bit of fun!"

"Ha! ha!" laughed his patient, "fun?--you call getting married _fun_?"

"Yes," said the Doctor; "we were down at Capt. Figgles's; there was a
quilting and sort of a frolic going on----"

"Yes, we heard of it."

"And, in fun, to keep up the sports of the evening, Capt. Tiller
proposed to marry some of us. So Miss Figgles and I stood up, and
Captain Tiller acted parson, and we had some sport."

"Well,