cks met, some years ago, in a fashionable drinking saloon
in Cincinnati. It was one of the most elegant drinking establishments in
that part of the country. The young chaps belonged over in
Kentucky--daddies rich, and they didn't care a snap! says they, let's
have a spree! The "sham" came in, and they went at it; giving that a
fair trial, they took a turn at sherry, hock, and a sample of all the
most expensive stuffs the proprietors had on hand. Getting fuddled, they
got uproarious; they kicked over the tables and knocked down the
waiters. The landlord, not exactly appreciating that sort of "going on,"
remonstrated, and was met by an array of pistols and knives. Mad and
furious, the young chaps made a general onslaught on the people present,
who "dug out" very quick, leaving the bacchanalians to their glory;
whereupon, they fell to and fired their pistols into the mirrors,
paintings, chandeliers, &c. Of course the watchmen came in, about the
time the young gentlemen finished their youthful indiscretions, and
after the usual battering and banging of the now almost inanimate bodies
of the quartette, landed them in the calaboose. Next day they settled
their bills, and it cost them about $2200! It was rather an expensive
lesson, but it's altogether probable that they haven't forgotten a
letter of it yet.

A small party of country merchants, traders, &c., were cruising around
New York, one evening, seeing the lions, and their cicerone,--by the
way, a "native" who knew what _was_ what,--took them up Broadway, and as
they passed the Astor House, says one of the strangers:

"Smith, what's this thunderin' big house?"

"O, ah, yes, this," says the cicerone, Smith, "_this_, boys, is a great
tavern, fine place to get a drink."

"Well, be hooky, let's all go in."

In they all went; taking a private room or small side parlor, the
country gents requested Smith to do the talking and order in the liquor.
Smith called for a bill of fare, upon which are "invoiced" more "sorts"
and harder named wines and _liquors_ than could be committed to memory
in a week.

"That's it," says Smith, marking a bill of fare, and handing it to the
servant, "that's it--two bottles, bring 'em up."

Up came the wine; it was, of course, elegant. The country gents froze to
it. They had never tasted such stuff before, in all their born days!

"Look a here, mister," says one of the "business men," "got eny more uv
that wine?"

"O, yes, sir!" says the ser