see!"

We nearly catapillered! After all this circumlocution, the man came to
the _pint_, and--sold his eggs in two minutes!

Jolly Old Times.

Either mankind or his constitution has changed since "the good old
times," for we read in an old medicine book, that bleeding at the nose,
and cramp, could be effectually prevented by wearing a dried toad in a
bag at the pit of the stomach; while for rheumatism and consumption, a
snake skin worn in the crown of your hat, was a sovereign remedy! Dried
toads and snake skins are quite out of use around these settlements, and
we think the Esculapius who would recommend such nostrums, would be
looked upon as a poor devil with a fissure in his cranium, liable to
cause his brains to become weather-beaten! We remember hearing of a
learned old cuffy, who lived down "dar" near Tallahassee, who invariably
recommended cayenne pepper in the eye to cure the toothache! Had this
venerable old colored gem'n lived 200 years ago, he would doubtless have
created a sensation in the medical circles!

The Pigeon Express Man.

In nearly all yarns or plays in which Yankees figure, they are supposed
to be "a leetle teu darn'd ceute" for almost any body else, creating a
heap of fun, and coming out clean ahead; but that even Connecticut
Yankees--the cutest and all firedest _tight_ critters on the face of the
_yearth_, when money or trade's in the question--are "_done_" now and
then, upon the most scientific principles, we are going to prove.

It is generally known, in the newspaper world, that two or three Eastern
men, a few years ago, started a paper in Philadelphia, upon the penny
principle, and have since been rewarded as they deserved. They were, and
are, men of great enterprise and liberality, as far as their business is
concerned, and thereby they got ahead of all competition, and made their
_pile_. The proprietors were always "fly" for any new dodge, by which
they could keep the lead of things, and monopolize the _news_ market.
The Telegraph had not "turned up" in the day of which we write--the
_mails_, and, now and then, express horse lines, were the media through
which _Great Excitements! Alarming Events!! Great Fires and Awful
Calamities!!_ were come at. One morning, as one of these gentlemen was
sitting in his office, a long, lank genius, with a visage as
hatchet-faced and keen as any Connecticut Yankee's on record, came in,
and inquired of one of the clerks for the proprie