the mill-race, and duck him well.

Mind you, your country gals and women are not paint and powder,
corset-laced and fragile creatures, like your delicate, more ornamental
than useful young ladies of the city; no, no, the gals of Frogtown were
real flesh and blood; Venuses and Dianas of solidity and substance; and
it would have taken several better men than Uncle Josh to have got away
from them. It was a cool, moon-shiny night, but to better favor the
women, just as old Josh got near his gate, a large, black cloud obscured
the moon, and all was as dark as a stack of black cats in a coal cellar.
Miller's wife acted as captain; dressed in Bob Tape's old clothes he had
left at her house to be repaired, she gave the word, and out they
rushed.

"Seize him, boys!" said she, in a very loud whisper. Over went the
sheet, down came old Josh, co-blim! Before he could say "lor' a massy,"
he was dragged to the mill-race, tied hand and foot, blindfolded, his
coat taken off, and he was _ca-soused_ into the cold water! Fury! how
the old fellow begged for his life!

"O, lor' a massy, don't drown me boys! I--a, I--" _ca-souse_ he went
again.

"Give him another duck," says one--and in he'd go again.

"Now, we'll learn you to carry tales," says another.

"And tell lies on me and Miller's wife," says Bob Tape--ca-souse he
went.

"O, lor' a mas--mas--e, do--do--don't drown me, Bob; I'll--I'll promise
never to--" in they put him again; the water was as cold as ice.

"Will you promise never to take or carry a story again?"

"I d--d--d--_do_ promise, if--yo--yo--yo--you--don't--duc--" and in he
went again.

"Do you promise to mind your own business and let others alone, Uncle
Josh?"

"Ye--ye--yes, I d--_do_, I--I--I'll promise anything--bo--boys, only let
me go," says Uncle Josh.

"Well, boys," says Polly Higgins, rousing, jolly critter she was, too,
"I owe Uncle Josh one more dip: he lied about my gal, Polly Higgins,
and--"

"O, ho, Seth Jones, that's you, ain't it?--Well--we--well, I said
nothing about Polly; it was Heeltap said it, 'deed it was."

Then they let old Josh off, vowing they'd give Heeltap his gruel next
night, and the moment Josh got clear of his sousers, he cut for home.
Next day Heeltap cleared himself.--Uncle Josh soon found out that he had
been ducked by the women, and, for his own peace, moved to Iowa, and
Frogtown has been a happy place ever since.

Penalty of Kissing your own Wife.

Cato, when