where he and
the landlord had a _haze_, the landlord was notified to _leave_, short
metre; and being fully revenged for the insult paid his millions, old
Stephen Girard, the great Philadelphia financier, rode back to where he
was better used for his money, and evidently better satisfied than ever,
that money is mighty when brought to bear upon an object!

A Circumlocutory Egg Pedler.

We have been, frequently, much amused with the man[oe]uvring of some
folks in trade. It's not your cute folks, who screw, twist and twirl
over a smooth fourpence, or skin a flea for its hide and tallow, and
spoil a knife that cost a shilling,--that come out first best in the
long run. Some folks have a weakness for beating down shop-keepers, or
anybody else they deal with, and so far have we seen this _infirmity_
carried, that we candidly believe we've known persons that would not
stop short of cheapening the passage to kingdom come, if they thought a
dollar and two cents might be saved in the fare! Now the _rationale_ of
the matter is this:--as soon as persons establish a reputation for
meanness--beating down folks, they fall victims to all sorts of shaves
and short commons, and have the fine Saxony drawn over their eyes--from
the nose to the occiput; they get the meanest "bargains," offals, &c.,
that others would hardly have, even at a heavy discount. Then some folks
are so wonderful sharp, too, that we wonder their very shadow does not
often cut somebody. A friend of ours went to buy his wife a pair of
gaiters; he brought them home; she found all manner of fault with them;
among other drawbacks, she declared that for the price her better half
had given for the gaiters, _she_ could have got the best article in
Waxend's entire shop! _He_ said _she_ had better take them back and try.
So she did, and poor Mr. Waxend had an hour of his precious time used up
by the lady's attempt to get a more expensive pair of gaiters at a less
price than those purchased by her husband. Waxend saw how matters stood,
so he consented to adopt the maxim of--when Greek meets Greek, then
comes the tug of war!

"Now, marm," said he, "here is a pair of gaiters I have made for Mrs.
Heavypurse; they are just your fit, most expensive material, the best
article in the shop; Mrs. Heavypurse will not expect them for a few
days, and rather than _you_ should be disappointed, I will let _you_
have them for the same price your husband paid for those common ones!"