l."

_Host._ "All right, come along!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: HE KNEW THE CUISINE.--_Hungry Diner_ (_scanning the
menu_). "Look here, waiter, I'm starving. I think I'll have a little of
everything!"

_Waiter._ "Yessir. (_Bawls off._) 'Ash one!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SONGS AND THEIR SINGERS]

* * * * *

AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES

"When the wine is in, the wit is out;"
Only to dolts the adage reaches.
No wise man could for a moment doubt
The value of after-dinner speeches.

_Punch_ can remember the time when Peel,
Whose wisdom still the country teaches,
After steak and port, his nine o'clock meal,
Made the best of after-dinner speeches.

When the Ministers come to the Mansion House,
(The King of London their presence beseeches,)
No guest who has any touch of _nous_
Will be weary of after-dinner speeches.

When the Royal Academy blooms in May,
With its pretty girls and their cheeks like peaches
Who won't, on the opening Saturday,
Listen to after-dinner speeches?

When there's ought that's generous to be done,
A greeting to pay that no soul impeaches,
A dinner's the best thing under the sun,
And its gold coin the after-dinner speeches.

And as to the House, which often suffers
From talk that to dreariest platitude reaches,
It does not often allow its duffers
To make long after-dinner speeches.

* * * * *

[Illustration: SCENE--CHOP-HOUSE

_Enter Street Boy, and, with suppressed ecstasy._ "Oh, please, there's
your cat and kittens having such a game with the things in the winder!"]

* * * * *

AT THE CRIC-CRAC RESTAURANT

_Customer_ (_looking at bill_). Here, waiter, there's surely some
mistake in this total.

_Waiter_ (_politely_). Zehn thousand pardons, sir