* * *

[Illustration: BREAKING THE ICE

_Sprightly Lady._ "Mr. Dormers, would you oblige me with----"

_Bashful Curate_ (_who had scarcely spoken to his fair neighbour_). "O,
certainly. What shall I have the pleasure to offer?----"

_Lady._ "----a remark!!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CONNOISSEUR.--_Host_ (_smacking his lips_). "There,
my boy, what do you think of that? I thought I'd give you a treat.
That's '34 port, sir!" _Guest._ "Ah, and a very nice, sound wine, I
should say! I believe it's quite as good as some I gave 37s. for the
other day."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: A GENTLE SNUB.--"Here, waiter--quick! Something to
eat--and look sharp!" "Yessir. What'll you 'ave, sir?" "Oh--anything--I
don't care. Chop or steak--whatever you like." "You must excuse me, sir;
but I don't feel called upon to decide!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE WAY WE LIVE NOW

TIME--3 P.M. SCENE--_Club_.

_First Gilded Youth._ "Had any breakfast, old chappie?"

_Second Gilded Youth._ "Yes. Had an egg beaten up at twelve."

_First Gilded Youth_ (_in admiration_). "Doose you did! What a
constitution you must have!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FIRST ASPARAGUS OF THE SEASON

_Farmer_ (_at market dinner_). "Wull, gen'elmen, I dunno wot be the
c'rect way o' servin' these 'ere, but I gen'elly eats just the ends of
'em myself!"

[_Helps himself to the tops!_]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE GENIAL SEASON

_Hungry-looking Acquaintance_ (_with eye to invitation_). "So glad to
see you enjoying yourself!"

_Fat Chap_ (_evidently doing well_). "Wrong again, old man. I'm enjoying
my dinner!"]

* * * * *

A WAITER'S WARNING

"ENTOMOLOGY IN PARLIAMENT STREET.--Mr. Frank W. DUFREY, 55, Parliament
Street, writes to the _Field_:--'It will interest your entomological
readers to hear that a fine specimen of the death's-head hawk moth
(_Acherontia atropos_) was taken in Parliament Street on Monday evening.
It flew into the dining-room at the Red Lion Tavern, and was captured by
one of the waiters, who was alarmed at its size and the peculiar noise
it made. Apart from its being rather rubbed, it is a very good specimen
of the largest of our lepidoptera, and is now in my possession.'"

"William, where's John?
What, is he