grined
to the highest degree of disgust, to find, by repeated observation, his
disposition so preposterous, that his satisfaction and displeasure never
depended upon the cause he had to be satisfied or disobliged; but, on
the contrary, when he had most reason to be pleased, he was always most
discontented, and very often in good-humour when he had reason enough
for vexation.

"While I lived in Poland-street, I was engaged with lawyers, and so
often visited by my father, that I could not dedicate my whole time as
usual to my lover; nor was it convenient that he should be seen in my
company: he therefore took a small house at Camberwell, whither I went
as often as I had an opportunity; and maintained the correspondence with
such eagerness and industry, that, although I was six months gone
with child, I have often, by myself, set out for his habitation, in a
hackney-coach, at eleven o'clock at night, and returned by six in the
morning, that I might be in my own bed when my father came to see
me; for I concealed my amour, as well as the effects of it, from his
knowledge, and frequently took water from the bridge, that my motions
might not be discovered. Nothing but the most passionate love could have
supported my spirits under such vicissitudes of fatigue, or enabled my
admirer to spend whole days by himself in such a solitary retirement.

"By this time, my lord was arrived in England, and employed in
discovering the place of my retreat; so that I lived in continual alarm,
and provided myself with a speaking-trumpet, which stood by my bedside,
to be used in calling for assistance, in case my pursuer should make an
attack upon my lodgings.

"This situation being extremely uncomfortable, I had no sooner begun my
process against him, than I put myself entirely under the protection of
Mr. S--, who conducted me to the house of a friend of his who lived in
the country, where I was secure from the attempts of my husband. The
world had now given me up, and I had renounced the world with the most
perfect resignation. I weighed in my breast what I should lose in point
of character, with what I suffered in my peace at home, and found,
that my reputation was not to be preserved, except at the expense of
my quiet, for his lordship was not disposed to make me easy, had I been
ever so discreet. I therefore determined to give up a few ceremonial
visits, and empty professions, for the more substantial enjoyments of
life.

"We passed ou