leave, went away, ruminating on the unexpected declaration.

"Lord B--, as I was informed, spoke not a word that whole night, and
took my leaving him so much to heart, that two years elapsed before he
got the better of his grief. This intelligence I afterwards received
from his own mouth, and asked his forgiveness for my unkind retreat,
though I shall never be able to obtain my own. As for Mr. B--, he was
overwhelmed with sorrow, and made such efforts to suppress his concern,
as had well nigh cost him his life. Dr. S-- was called to him in the
middle of the night, and found him almost suffocated. He soon guessed
the cause, when he understood that I had left the house. So that I
myself was the only person concerned, who was utterly ignorant of his
affection; for I solemnly declare he never gave me the least reason
to suspect it while I lived with his relation, because he had too much
honour to entertain a thought of supplanting his friend, and too good an
opinion of me to believe he should have succeeded in the attempt. Though
my love for Lord B-- was not so tender and interesting as the passion I
had felt for S--, my fidelity was inviolable, and I never harboured the
most distant thought of any other person, till after I had resolved
to leave him, when, I own, I afforded some small encouragement to the
addresses of a new admirer by telling him, that I should, in a little
time, be my own mistress, though I was not now at my own disposal.

"I enjoyed my new house as a little paradise. It was accommodated with
all sorts of conveniences; everything was new, and therefore pleasing,
and the whole absolutely at my command. I had the company of a relation,
a very good woman, with whom I lived in the most amicable manner; was
visited by the best people in town--I mean those of the male sex, the
ladies having long ago forsaken me; I frequented all reputable places of
public entertainment, and had a concert at home once a week; so that
my days rolled on in happiness and quiet, till all my sweets were
embittered by the vexatious behaviour of my husband, who began to
importune me again to live with him; and by the increasing anxiety of
Lord B--, who, though I still admitted his visits, plainly perceived
that I wanted to relinquish his correspondence. This discovery raised
such tempests of jealousy and despair within his breast, that he kept
me in continual alarm. He sent messages to me every hour, signed his
letters with his own bl