a present of a house and furniture, where I should live at my case,
without being exposed to his visits, except when I should be disposed to
receive them. This proposal he made in consequence of what I had always
declared, namely, that if he had not reduced me to the necessity
of putting myself under the protection of some person or other, by
depriving me of any other means of subsistence, I should never have
given the world the least cause to scandalize my reputation; and that I
would withdraw myself from my present dependence, as soon as he should
enable me to live by myself. I was therefore resolved to be as good as
my word, and accepted his offer, on condition that I should be wholly
at my own disposal, and that he should never enter my door but as a
visitant or common friend.

"These articles being ratified by his word and honour, the value
of which I did not then know, a house was furnished according to my
directions; and I signified my intention to Lord B--, who consented
to my removal, with this proviso, that I should continue to see him. I
wrote also to his relation, Mr. B--, who, in his answer, observed,
that it was too late to advise, when I was actually determined. All my
friends and acquaintance approved of the scheme, though it was one
of the most unjustifiable steps I had ever taken, being a real act of
ingratitude to my benefactor; which I soon did, and always shall regret
and condemn. So little is the world qualified to judge of private
affairs!

"When the time of our parting drew near, Lord B-- became gloomy and
discontented, and even entreated me to postpone my resolution; but I
told him, that now everything was prepared for my reception, I could not
retract without incurring the imputation of folly and extravagance.
On the very day of my departure, Mr. B-- endeavoured, with all the
arguments he could suggest, to dissuade me from my purpose; and I
made use of the same answer which had satisfied his friend. Finding me
determined on removing, he burst out into a flood of tears, exclaiming,
"By God! if Lord B-- can bear it, I can't." I was thunderstruck at this
expression; for though I had been told that Mr. B-- was in love with
me, I gave no credit to the report, because he had never declared his
passion, and this was the first hint of it that ever escaped him in
my hearing. I was therefore so much amazed at the circumstance of this
abrupt explanation, that I could make no answer; but having taken my