t mention of that name, my agony redoubled to such a degree that
all who were present wept at sight of my deplorable condition. My poor
father shed a flood of tears, and conjured me to tell him the cause of
my disquiet; upon which, rather than confess the truth, I amused his
concern by pretending that my lover was ill. The whole family having
stayed by me till I was a little more composed, left me to the care of
my maid, who put me into bed about six in the morning, but I enjoyed no
rest. I revolved every circumstance of my conduct, endeavouring to find
out the cause of this fatal change in S--'s disposition; and as I could
recollect nothing which could justly give offence, concluded that some
malicious persons had abused his ears with stories to my prejudice.

"With this conjecture I got up, and sent my lawyer to him with a letter,
wherein I insisted upon seeing him, that I might have an opportunity of
justifying myself in person; a task which would be easily performed,
as I had never offended, but in loving too well. I waited with the most
anxious impatience for the return of my messenger, who brought me an
answer couched in the coldest terms of civility which indifference
could dictate; acknowledging, however, that he had nothing to lay to my
charge, but that it was for the good of us both that we should part. He
ought to have reflected on that before, not after I had sacrificed my
all for his love! I was well-nigh distracted by this confirmation of
his inconstancy; and I wonder to this day how I retained the use of my
reason under such circumstances of horror and despair! My grief laid
aside all decorum and restraint; I told my father that S-- was dying,
and that I would visit him with all expedition.

"Startled at the proposal, this careful parent demonstrated the fatal
consequence of such an unguarded step, reminded me of the difficulty
with which he had prevailed upon my mother and uncle to forgive my
former imprudence, observed that his intention was to carry me into the
country next day, in order to effect a perfect reconciliation; but now
I was on the brink of forfeiting all pretensions to their regard, by
committing another fatal error, which could not possibly be retrieved;
and that, for his part, whatever pangs it might cost him, he was
resolved to banish me from his sight for ever.

"While he uttered this declaration, the tears trickled down his cheeks,
and he seemed overwhelmed with the keenest sorrow an