*
Solitude with happy, cheerful memories, must needs be peaceful and
placid. It suggests the lonely tree that sends its roots through the
rich soil and into the clear stream in the valley. But solitude with
sad and dark memories reminds me of the tree whose roots, ever striking
against rocks, must pass over and clamber around them. Thus, holding a
rock in their embrace, they are like a heart laden with a heavy burden
that it can never rid itself of.
*
Perfect solitude is when, for a whole day, no human eye has beheld your
face. It does one good to know that no human eye has seen you, and that
the glass that mirrors your features is, as yet, unsullied by the
breath of another.
*
Solitude is apt to make one superstitious. One naturally casts about
him for some external support.
It always alarms me when, on beginning work in the morning, one of my
tools drops from my hand. I feel that the day which begins thus will
prove a sad and troubled one. I fight down this superstitious feeling.
*
He who possesses a firm faith, although in solitude, is not alone.
*
My master is always out of humor. His wife and three daughters assist
him at his work. Hansei has advanced the pay for my lessons. I am an
apt pupil.
I notice that these people regard me as slightly demented. The little
pitchman informed me that Hansei had given out this report, intending
that it should serve as a sort of invisible cap. This gives me liberty
and yet protects me, but at times it makes me feel uneasy.
My master also thinks that I am out of my mind. He addresses me
cautiously, and is delighted when he finds that I have understood him.
*
The swallows are departing. Ah! I cannot deny that I fear the
approaching winter. If I only do not become ill. That were terrible! It
would force me to betray myself or--no, I dare not be ill. But I am
still so nervous. It is hard for me to mention it, but it is hard to
bear it. A cow in the stable near by has a bell on her neck, and day
and night it keeps up its unrhythmic tinkling. But I must get used to
it.
*
I really dread the winter. If it were only spring time, instead of
autumn. Nature would be my friend. Nature is the same everywhere. But
now winter faces me. I
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