to me as if it were sinful thus to bury myself alive. My
voice is no longer heard in song, and much more that dwells within me
has become mute.
Is this right?
If my only object in life were to be at peace with myself, it would be
well enough--but I long to labor and to do something for others. Yet
where and what shall it be?
*
When I first heard that the beautifully carved furniture of the great
and wealthy is the work of prisoners, it made me shudder. And now,
although I am not deprived of freedom, I am in much the same condition.
Those who have disfigured life should, as an act of expiation, help to
make life more beautiful for others. The thought that I am doing this
comforts and sustains me.
*
My work prospers. But last winter's wood is not yet fit for use. My
little pitchman has brought me some that is old, excellent and well
seasoned, having been part of the rafters of an old house that has just
been torn down. We work together cheerfully, and our earnings are
considerable.
*
Vice is the same everywhere, except that here it is more open. Among
the masses, vice is characterized by coarseness; among the upper
classes, by meanness.
The latter shake off the consequences of their evil deeds, while the
former are obliged to bear them.
*
The rude manners of these people are necessary, and are far preferable
to polite deceit. They must needs be rough and rude. If it were not for
its coarse, thick bark, the oak could not withstand the storm.
I have found that this rough bark covers more tenderness and sincerity
than does the smoothest surface.
*
Jochem told me, to-day, that he is still quite a good walker, but that
a blind man finds it very troublesome to go anywhere; for, at every
step, he is obliged to grope about, so that he may feel sure of his
ground before he firmly plants his foot on the earth.
Is it not the same with me? Am I not obliged to be sure of the ground
before I take a step?
Such is the way of the fallen.
Ah! why does everything I see or hear become a symbol of my life?
*
Our life here is like that of plants. Our chief care is as to the
weather. Rain and sunshine affect us as they do the plants that require
their aid. Hansei often complains that he does no
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