r all. I'll tell your father that, and it'll be good news for him."
I could not tell him the name--how could I? All I could do was to thank
him for giving me what had been so precious in his own eyes. And,
strange to say, when I take the bullet in my hand and look at it, it
agitates me greatly.
I will now prepare myself to follow the old man to his grave.
*
I was at the churchyard while the old man was buried. I shall lie
there, too, some day.
I feel as if death might be conquered by the will. I am determined to
live; I will not die. Is force of will the hidden thing within me, that
I am ever seeking? And yet, I have no will. No one has. All our life,
all our thoughts, are simply the necessary result of events and
experiences, of waking perception and nocturnal dreams. Like the
beasts, we may change the scene; but, the greater one, the prison that
confines us, we cannot change. We cannot quit the earth. The laws of
gravitation and attraction hold our souls fast as well as our bodies.
Far above me, move the stars, and I am nothing more than a flower or a
blade of grass clinging to the earth. The stars look down at me and I
look up to them, and yet we cannot join each other.
*
A reigning prince has visited our farm. His highness Grubersepp, of
whom Walpurga has often spoken to me, has arrived, bringing his little
son, or--to speak more correctly--his two black horses and his son with
him. The house is all bustle, and every one seems as proud and happy as
if a reigning prince had actually come.
Grubersepp looked at me with a curious air.
"Is that prim-looking girl," said he to Hansei, while pointing backward
with his thumb, "one of your wife's relations?"
"Yes; my wife--" Hansei muttered something--I saw that it went hard
with him to tell a lie, and, above all, to the great farmer to whom he
was showing his property.
Among the peasants, it is just the same as elsewhere. Only the great
ones know each other. But their intercourse is beautiful and
impressive, and, although they exchange no friendly words, they serve
each other by friendly actions.
The family have been made happy, for Grubersepp has said that the farm
was in good order; and when Grubersepp says that, it is as much as if
the intendant should say: "divine."
During the two days Grubersepp spent here, there was no rest in the
house; that is, every one was busy thinki
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