the load. "Take me up and carry me,
I cannot go further!" cries my soul. But then I rouse myself again,
seize my scrip and my pilgrim's staff and wander on, solitary and
alone; and while I wander, strength returns to me.

*

For the first time in a year, I saw a carriage driving up the white
road that leads through the valley. Those who were sitting in it, could
not know how my eyes followed them. Whither go ye? who are ye?

*

I must write again. I believe that I at last know the full meaning of
the word "gemuethlich." It includes careful thought for the comfort of
others even in the merest trifles, and requires one to put himself in
another's place. It is the heart, expressing itself in poetry; it is
feeling, clothing itself in the garb of fancy.

True culture includes this feeling; for what is culture but the power
to put one's self in another's place, and "to see ourselves as others
see us"?

My opinion is still unchanged. Hansei seems dull and awkward, and yet
he has far more of the best culture than many a one who is decorated
with orders and epaulettes and is regarded as one of the most charming
of cavaliers.

*

I constantly keep thinking that there is something in me which I have
not yet discovered. It gives me no rest. Is it an idea, a feeling, a
word, or a deed? I know not, but I feel that there is something within
me that seeks a vent. Perhaps death may come before I discover it.

*

Old Jochem still remembers a few verses from the hymnbook, and keeps
repeating them to himself, but in such perverted shape that they are
sheer nonsense. I offered to teach him the verses correctly, but this
made him very angry, and he told me that I was trying to teach him
something new, and that it would not answer. His nonsense seems dear to
him. He does not understand it, and the air of mystery thus imparted to
it renders it far more impressive.

*

One who has never experienced the feeling, cannot know what it is to
long for a few words of conversation with your equals. It is a
consuming thirst. Any one who can speak my language would serve my
purpose. I cannot endure this strain. I feel as if I were in a strange
land, and were vainly listening for the beloved accents of my native
tongue. It is well for me that I can work.