rings my work, carries away what I have finished, and, between us, we
have quite a handsome profit. He also assists me in preparing the wood,
and he handles saw and axe as deftly as a bird does its claws and beak.

*

To-day I received the first money that I ever earned by the work of my
hands. Uncle Peter counted it out to me on the table. He refuses paper
money. Nothing but silver will satisfy him. "Ready money smiles," said
he, with a laugh in which I could not help joining. How small are these
gains, and yet how encouraging. I have earned them. All my life long, I
have merely enjoyed what others have offered me. It was a privilege,
inherited from my ancestors, that others should labor for me.

I can now manage to pay Walpurga something for my support. She refused
to receive pay, but I shall insist upon it.

*

It is well that my employment is, to a great extent, a mechanical one,
comprising much which is necessary and requires neither reflection nor
contrivance. Certain things must be done, and there is but one way of
doing them. If I were obliged to do anything that required great mental
exertion, it would be the death of me.

*

It is now four months since I came here.

My hands have become hardened.

The treatment I receive from those about me, satisfies me that their
affection for me is sincere.

*

If one could only always remain the same--that is, in the full
possession of one's powers.

I often give way to fits of depression and feel completely undone,
forsaken, weak and helpless, and as if help must come from somewhere.
But whence? and from who?

I am obliged, with each succeeding day, to overcome the melancholy that
oppresses me during the mornings. In the evenings, I am calm--for I am
weary then.

*

We hear the falling rain, but not the snow. Bitter grief is violent;
resignation, calm and silent.

*

It is bitter cold up here; but the woods are near us, and my monster of
a tile stove is a faithful friend who preserves his warmth.

*

Literally speaking, when Hansei returns from the forest it often takes
him an hour to thaw, and regain control of his voice and movements.
Until then, it is best not to talk with him, for he is easily offended;