am obliged to learn the affairs of everyday life from the good
mother. It is just these things that we forget to learn. We are taught
dancing, before we are really able to walk.

From cleaning our shoes in the morning to putting out the lamps at
night, how many are our wants, how many the helping hands we need! What
with cooking, washing, scouring, drawing of water, and carrying wood,
man finds no time to think of himself. Nature furnishes clothing and
food to the beasts; but man must spin and cook for himself.

I have imposed a difficult task upon myself, for I have determined to
allow no one to wait upon me. An anchorite cannot afford to be too
cleanly or fastidious; but then I was not intended for an anchorite.

*

At first it oppressed me to think that I had become a Robinson Crusoe
in spirit, but now I am proud of it.

He who is thrown upon himself, and is no longer able to live in
accordance with custom, is cast away on a desert island, and must
create everything anew for himself.

But why should I, whose heart was already borne down with its burdens,
be obliged to suffer shipwreck, too?

*
When I look out into the night and all is dark, and there is no light
to tell me: "Here are other beings like yourself," I feel oppressed
with fear, as if I were alone upon the earth!

*

(October.)--This evening--ah! the evenings are already long--it
suddenly occurred to me: There are thousands who lead a life of
affluence and pleasure, who move in society, and yet--

Why should I alone renounce the world, deprive myself of its pleasures,
and bury myself in solitude?

Because I must and shall! I live only by the favor and charity of
others. I have wasted my life, trifled it away. Shall I try to regain
it in bitter earnest? I once trifled with words, but now they fetter
and judge me!

*

"You're still too heavily laden?" said the grandmother.

"How so?"

"If a wagon's loaded too heavily, you can't grease its wheels so as to
stop their creaking. You must wait till it's empty. Then you can raise
it with a jack-screw, take off the wheels and grease the axles. The
burden you still bear is the thoughts of the past; lay them aside, and
you'll soon feel relieved."

*

At last I know why I get up in the mornings. Something seems to say to
m