to the machine, and can be attached or detached according
to the pleasure of the person undergoing the operation, so that you
may be shaved to any tune you please! Experiments (says the
_Gateshead Observer_) have been tried and found
satisfactory."--_Durham Advertiser._

We must confess, that, however ingenious this machine may be, we should
feel very much in the same situation as the gentleman who was deposited
in the barrel of spikes before we took our seat amidst the cylinders,
with our face among a lot of razors, "four on each cylinder." As the
cylinders are "fixed," there can be no allowance for an extra amount of
cheek, an exuberance of lip, or protuberance of nose; but when the
"patient"--as he is very properly called--is once in for the operation,
he must take his chance as to the relative position of his features and
the fixed razors, nor must he think of being "nice to a shaving." When
the "patient" takes his seat off goes the machine, set in motion by his
weight, and stoppage seems to be out of the question until "he reaches
the ground, when the operation is completed." No wonder that the patient
should sink under an operation of such very alarming gravity, by the law
of which he comes to the floor with a degree of force commensurate to
the weight of his own body. The seat, having released itself from its
burden by shooting the "patient" on to the floor, is ready for another
victim.

We should hardly like to be operated upon by a single razor with our
chair trembling beneath us; but to find ourselves amidst a "forest of
blades"--four on each cylinder--with our seat giving way under us, would
be a position so frightful that it is one we hardly venture to
contemplate.

A shabby attempt appears to have been made to gloss over the more
alarming features of this infernal shaving machine, or guillotine, by
setting it to music. We hope the airs played by the box spoken of are
appropriate; and we should suggest the March in _Blue Beard_ as
peculiarly fitted to a machine reminding one of beards and blood, of
soap and scimitars.

* * * * *

NOT CHEAP, BUT EXTREMELY NASTY.

Considering the tremendous sums we pay every year for drainage of the
metropolis, we must say that it is a luxury for the enjoyment of which
we have, in every sense, but smelling most especially, to pay largely
through the nose.

* * * * *

MEMORIAL TO BELLOT.