om whom the "Great Unknown" had derived many an ancient
tale, was waited upon one day by the author of "Waverley." On his
endeavouring to give the authorship the go-by, the old dame protested,
"D'ye think, sir, I dinna ken my ain groats in ither folk's kail[166]?"

A conceited packman called at a farm-house in the west of Scotland, in
order to dispose of some of his wares. The goodwife was offended by his
southern accent, and his high talk about York, London, and other big
places. "An' whaur come ye frae yersell?" was the question of the
guidwife. "Ou, I am from the Border." "The Border--oh! I thocht that;
for we aye think the _selvidge_ is the wakest bit o' the wab!"

The following is a good specimen of ready Scotch humorous reply, by a
master to his discontented workman, and in which he turned the tables
upon him, in his reference to Scripture. In a town of one of the central
counties a Mr. J---- carried on, about a century ago, a very extensive
business in the linen manufacture. Although _strikes_ were then unknown
among the labouring classes, the spirit from which these take their rise
has no doubt at all times existed. Among Mr. J----'s many workmen, one
had given him constant annoyance for years, from his discontented and
argumentative spirit. Insisting one day on getting something or other
which his master thought most unreasonable, and refused to give in to,
he at last submitted, with a bad grace, saying, "You're nae better than
_Pharaoh_, sir, forcin' puir folk to mak' bricks without straw." "Well,
Saunders," quietly rejoined his master, "if I'm nae better than Pharaoh
in one respect, I'll be better in another, for _I'll no hinder ye going
to the wilderness whenever you choose_."

Persons who are curious in Scottish stories of wit and humour speak much
of the sayings of a certain "Laird of Logan," who was a well-known
character in the West of Scotland. This same Laird of Logan was at a
meeting of the heritors of Cumnock, where a proposal was made to erect a
new churchyard wall. He met the proposition with the dry remark, "I
never big dykes till the _tenants_ complain." Calling one day for a gill
of whisky in a public-house, the Laird was asked if he would take any
water with the spirit. "Na, na," replied he, "I would rather ye would
tak the water out o't."

The laird sold a horse to an Englishman, saying, "You buy him as you
see him; but he's an _honest_ beast." The purchaser took him home. In a
few days he