occurrences. One pastor, in a country district, who
was much respected by his people, but who, nevertheless, were never
quite reconciled to his _paper_ in the pulpit, found himself on one
occasion in an awkward predicament, from this same paper question. One
Sabbath afternoon, having exhausted both firstly and secondly, he came
to the termination of his discourse; but, unfortunately, the manuscript
was wanting. In vain efforts to seek the missing paper, he repeated
"thirdly and lastly" _ad nauseam_ to his hearers. At last one, cooler
than the others, rose, and nodding to the minister, observed, "'Deed,
sir, If I'm no mista'en, I saw 'thirdly and lastly' fa' ower the poopit
stairs;" evidently enjoying the disappearance of so important a part of
the obnoxious document.

This prejudice was indeed some years since in Scotland quite inveterate.
The following anecdote has been kindly sent to me from _Memoirs of
Charles Young,_ lately published by his son:--

"I have a distinct recollection, one Sunday when I was living at Cults,
and when a stranger was officiating for Dr. Gillespie, observing that he
had not proceeded five minutes with his 'discourse,' before there was a
general commotion and stampedo. The exodus at last became so serious,
that, conceiving something to be wrong, probably a fire in the manse, I
caught the infection, and eagerly inquired of the first person I
encountered in the churchyard what was the matter, and was told, with an
expression of sovereign scorn and disgust--'Losh keep ye, young man! Hae
ye eyes, and see not? Hae ye ears, and hear not? _The man reads!_"

On one occasion, however, even this prejudice gave way before the power
of the most eloquent preacher that Scotland ever heard, or perhaps that
the world ever heard. A shrewd old Fife hearer of sermons had been
objecting, in the usual exaggerated language, against reading sermons in
the pulpit. A gentleman urged the case of Dr. Chalmers, in defence of
the practice. He used his paper in preaching rigidly, and yet with what
an effect he read! All the objector could reply to this was, "Ah, but
it's _fell_[187] reading yon."

The two following are from a correspondent who heard them told by the
late Dr. Barclay the anatomist, well known for his own dry
Scottish humour.

A country laird, at his death, left his property in equal shares to his
two sons, who continued to live very amicably together for many years.
At length one said to the other, "