is related by Mr. Boyd[165] in one of his charming
series of papers, reprinted from _Fraser's Magazine_. "A friend of mine,
a country parson, on first going to his parish, resolved to farm his
glebe for himself. A neighbouring farmer kindly offered the parson to
plough one of his fields. The farmer said that he would send his man
John with a plough and a pair of horses on a certain day. 'If ye're
goin' about,' said the farmer to the clergyman, 'John will be unco weel
pleased if you speak to him, and say it's a fine day, or the like o'
that; but dinna,' said the farmer, with much solemnity, 'dinna say
onything to him about ploughin' and sawin'; for John,' he added, 'is a
stupid body, but he has been ploughin' and sawin' a' his life, and he'll
see in a minute that _ye_ ken naething aboot ploughin' and sawin'. And
then,' said the sagacious old farmer, with much earnestness, 'if he
comes to think that ye ken naething aboot ploughin' and sawin', he'll
think that ye ken naething aboot onything!'"

The following is rather an original commentary, by a layman, upon
clerical incomes:--A relative of mine going to church with a Forfarshire
farmer, one of the old school, asked him the amount of the minister's
stipend. He said, "Od, it's a gude ane--the maist part of L300 a year."
"Well," said my relative, "many of these Scotch ministers are but poorly
off." "They've eneuch, sir, they've eneuch; if they'd mair, it would
want a' their time to the spendin' o't."

Scotch gamekeepers had often much dry quiet humour. I was much amused by
the answer of one of those under the following circumstances:--An
Ayrshire gentleman, who was from the first a very bad shot, or rather no
shot at all, when out on 1st of September, having failed, time after
time, in bringing down a single bird, had at last pointed out to him by
his attendant bag-carrier a large covey, thick and close on the
stubbles. "Noo, Mr. Jeems, let drive at them, just as they are!" Mr.
Jeems did let drive, as advised, but not a feather remained to testify
the shot. All flew off, safe and sound--"Hech, sir (remarks his friend),
but ye've made thae yins _shift their quarters_."

The two following anecdotes of rejoinders from Scottish guidwives, and
for which I am indebted, as for many other kind communications, to the
Rev. Mr. Blair of Dunblane, appear to me as good examples of the
peculiar Scottish pithy phraseology which we refer to, as any that I
have met with.

An old lady fr