an' I'd been sitting on thorns."

I think the following is about as good a sample of what we call Scotch
"pawky" as any I know:--A countryman had lost his wife and a favourite
cow on the same day. His friends consoled him for the loss of the wife;
and being highly respectable, several hints and offers were made
towards getting another for him. "Ou ay," he at length replied; "you're
a' keen aneuch to get me anither wife, but no yin o' ye offers to gie me
anither coo."

The following anecdotes, collected from different contributors, are fair
samples of the quaint and original character of Scottish ways and
expressions, now becoming more and more matters of reminiscence:--A poor
man came to his minister for the purpose of intimating his intention of
being married. As he expressed, however, some doubts on the subject, and
seemed to hesitate, the minister asked him if there were any doubts
about his being accepted. No, that was not the difficulty; but he
expressed a fear that it might not be altogether suitable, and he asked
whether, if he were once married, he could not (in case of unsuitability
and unhappiness) get _un_married. The clergyman assured him that it was
impossible; if he married, it must be for better and worse; that he
could not go back upon the step. So thus instructed he went away. After
a time he returned, and said he had made up his mind to try the
experiment, and he came and was married. Ere long he came back very
disconsolate, and declared it would not do at all; that he was quite
miserable, and begged to be unmarried. The minister assured him that was
out of the question, and urged him to put away the notion of anything so
absurd. The man insisted that the marriage could not hold good, for the
wife was "waur than the deevil." The minister demurred, saying that it
was quite impossible. "'Deed, sir," said the poor man, "the Bible tells
ye that if ye resist the deil he flees frae ye, but if ye resist her she
flees _at_ ye."

A faithful minister of the gospel, being one day engaged in visiting
some members of his flock, came to the door of a house where his gentle
tapping could not be heard for the noise of contention within. After
waiting a little he opened the door, and walked in, saying, with an
authoritative voice, "I should like to know who is the head of this
house." "Weel, sir," said the husband and father, "if ye sit doun a wee,
we'll maybe be able to tell ye, for we're just trying to settle
tha