t point."

I have received from my kind correspondent, Rev. Mr. Hogg of Kirkmahoe,
the following most amusing account of a passage-at-arms between a
minister and "minister's man," both of them of the old school. The
minister of a parish in Dumfriesshire had a man who had long and
faithfully served at the manse. During the minister's absence, a
ploughing match came off in the district, and the man, feeling the old
spirit return with the force of former days, wished to enter the lists,
and go in for a prize, which he did, and gained the _fifth_ prize. The
minister, on his return home, and glancing at the local newspaper, saw
the report of the match, and the name of his own man in the prize-list.
Being of a crusty temper, he rang the bell in fury, and summoned John,
when the following colloquy took place:--"John, how is this? who gave
you leave to go to the ploughing-match?" "You were not at hame, sir."
"Well, you should have written to me." "I didn't think it was worth
while, sir, as we had our ain ploughing _forrit_[181]." "That may be;
but why were you not higher in the prize-list? I'm ashamed of you, and
you ought to be ashamed of yourself for being so far behind." John's
patience had given way, and, in his haste he burst forth, "Indeed, I'm
thinking, sir, that if ye were at a _preaching_ match, and
five-and-thirty in the field, ye wadna come in for _onything_, let a-be
for a fift'."

Stories of humorous encounters between ministers and their hearers are
numerous, and though often seasoned with dry and caustic humour, they
never indicate appearance of bitterness or ill-feeling between the
parties. As an example, a clergyman thought his people were making
rather an unconscionable objection to his using a MS. in delivering his
sermon. They urged, "What gars ye tak up your bit papers to the pu'pit?"
He replied that it was best, for really he could not remember his
sermon, and must have his papers. "Weel, weel, minister, then dinna
expect that _we_ can remember them."

Some of these encounters arise out of the old question of sleeping in
church. For example--"I see, James, that you tak a bit nap in the kirk,"
said a minister to one of his people; "can ye no tak a mull with you?
and when you become heavy an extra pinch would keep you up." "Maybe it
wad," said James, "but pit you the sneeshin intil your sermon, minister,
and maybe that'll serve the same purpose." As a specimen of the
matter-of-fact view of religious quest