rather fond of showing off his powers of language,
translated Hor. Od. iii., 3, 61, 62, somewhat thus:--'The fortunes of
Troy renascent under sorrowful omen shall be repeated with sad
catastrophe.' 'Catastrophe!' cried the professor. 'Catastrophe, Mr.
----, that's Greek. Give us it in plain English, if you please.' Thus
suddenly pulled down from his high horse, the student effected his
retreat with a rather lame and impotent version. 'Now,' said the
professor, his little sharp eyes twinkling with fun, 'that brings to my
recollection what once happened to a friend of mine, a minister in the
country. Being a scholarly man he was sometimes betrayed into the use of
words in the pulpit which the people were not likely to understand; but
being very conscientious, he never detected himself in this, without
pausing to give the meaning of the word he had used, and sometimes his
extempore explanations of very fine words were a little like what we
have just had from Mr. ----, rather too flat and commonplace. On one
occasion he allowed this very word 'catastrophe' to drop from him, on
which he immediately added, 'that, you know, my friends, means the _end_
of a thing.' Next day, as he was riding through his parish, some
mischievous youth succeeded in fastening a bunch of furze to his
horse's tail--a trick which, had the animal been skittish, might have
exposed the worthy pastor's horsemanship to too severe a trial, but
which happily had no effect whatever on the sober-minded and respectable
quadruped which he bestrode. On, therefore, he quietly jogged, utterly
unconscious of the addition that had been made to his horse's caudal
region, until, as he was passing some cottages, he was arrested by the
shrill voice of an old woman exclaiming, 'Heh, sir! Heh, sir! there's a
whun-buss at your horse's catawstrophe!'"

I have several times adverted to the subject of epigrams. A clever
impromptu of this class has been recorded as given by a judge's lady in
reply to one made by the witty Henry Erskine at a dinner party at Lord
Armadale's. When a bottle of claret was called for, port was brought in
by mistake. A second time claret was sent for, and a second time the
same mistake occurred. Henry Erskine addressed the host in an impromptu,
which was meant as a parody on the well-known Scottish song, "My
Jo, Janet"--

"Kind sir, it's for your courtesie
When I come here to dine, sir,
For the love ye bear to me,
Gie me t