see even Jamie Fraser, the idiot, does
not fall asleep, as so many of you are doing." Jamie, not liking,
perhaps, to be thus designated, coolly replied, "An I hadna been an
idiot, I micht ha' been sleepin' too." Another of these imbeciles,
belonging to Peebles, had been sitting at church for some time listening
attentively to a strong representation from the pulpit of the guilt of
deceit and falsehood in Christian characters. He was observed to turn
red, and grow very uneasy, until at last, as if wincing under the
supposed attack upon himself personally, he roared out, "Indeed,
minister, there's mair leears in Peebles than me." As examples of this
class of persons possessing much of the dry humour of their more sane
countrymen, and of their facility to utter sly and ready-witted sayings,
I have received the two following from Mr. W. Chambers:--Daft Jock Gray,
the supposed original of David Gellatley, was one day assailed by the
minister of a south-country parish on the subject of his idleness.
"John," said the minister, rather pompously, "you are a very idle
fellow; you might surely herd a few cows." "Me hird!" replied Jock; "I
dinna ken corn frae gerss."

"There was a carrier named Davie Loch who was reputed to be rather light
of wits, but at the same time not without a sense of his worldly
interests. His mother, finding her end approaching, addressed her son in
the presence of a number of the neighbours. 'The house will be Davie's
and the furniture too.' 'Eh, hear her,' quoth Davie; 'sensible to the
last, sensible to the last.' 'The lyin' siller'--'Eh yes; how clear she
is about everything!' 'The lyin' siller is to be divided between my twa
dauchters.' 'Steek the bed doors, steek the bed doors[172],' interposed
Davie; 'she's ravin' now;' and the old dying woman was shut up
accordingly."

In the _Memorials of the Montgomeries_, Earls of Eglinton, vol. i. p.
134, occurs an anecdote illustrative of the peculiar acuteness and
quaint humour which occasionally mark the sayings of persons considered
as imbeciles. There was a certain "Daft Will Speir," who was a
privileged haunter of Eglinton Castle and grounds. He was discovered by
the Earl one day taking a near cut, and crossing a fence in the demesne.
The Earl called out, "Come back, sir, that's not the road." "Do you
ken," said Will, "whaur I'm gaun?" "No," replied his lordship. "Weel,
hoo the deil do ye ken whether this be the road or no?"

This same "Daft Will Speir"