l from a roof where he was
mending slates, right upon the pavement. By extraordinary good fortune
he was not killed, and on the gentleman going up to his assistance, and
exclaiming, with much excitement, "God bless me, are you much hurt?" all
the answer he got was the cool rejoinder, "On the contrary, sir." A
similar matter-of fact answer was made by one of the old race of
Montrose humorists. He was coming out of church, and in the press of the
kirk _skailing_, a young man thoughtlessly trod on the old gentleman's
toe, which was tender with corns. He hastened to apologise, saying, "I
am very sorry, sir; I beg your pardon." The only acknowledgment of which
was the dry answer, "And ye've as muckle need, sir." An old man marrying
a very young wife, his friends rallied him on the inequality of their
ages. "She will be near me," he replied, "to close my een." "Weel,"
remarked another of the party, "I've had twa wives, and they _opened
my een_."

One of the best specimens of cool Scottish matter-of-fact view of things
has been supplied by a kind correspondent, who narrates it from his own
personal recollection.

The back windows of the house where he was brought up looked upon the
Greyfriars Church that was burnt down. On the Sunday morning in which
that event took place, as they were all preparing to go to church, the
flames began to burst forth; the young people screamed from the back
part of the house, "A fire! A fire!" and all was in a state of confusion
and alarm. The housemaid was not at home, it being her turn for the
Sunday "out." Kitty, the cook, was taking her place, and performing her
duties. The old woman was always very particular on the subject of her
responsibility on such occasions, and came panting and hobbling up
stairs from the lower regions, and exclaimed, "Oh, what is't, what
is't?" "O Kitty, look here, the Greyfriars Church is on fire!" "Is that
a', Miss? What a fricht ye geed me! I thought ye said the parlour
fire was out."

In connection with the subject of Scottish _toasts_ I am supplied by a
first-rate Highland authority of one of the most graceful and crushing
replies of a lady to what was intended as a sarcastic compliment and
smart saying at her expense.

About the beginning of the present century the then Campbell of Combie,
on Loch Awe side, in Argyleshire, was a man of extraordinary character,
and of great physical strength, and such swiftness of foot that it is
said he could "catch the be