ay gold-embroidered cap, so that I was a mould of form and the
howling nob.

Picture my amazement when, as I promenaded the path beside the waters of
the Serpentine lake, I beheld a wheeled cavalcade of every conceivable
age, sex, and appearance; senile gaffers and baby buntings;
multitudinous women, some plump as a duckling, others thin as a
paper-thread; aye, and even priests in sanctimonious black and
milk-white cravats, rolling swiftly upon two wheels, and all agog to
dash through thick and thin!

On seeing which, the matured lady boarder did exclaim upon the
difficulties of the performance, and the vast crowd that had collected
to view such a _tour de force_, but I, perceiving that those seated upon
the machines used no exorbitant exertions, and, indeed, appeared to be
wholly engrossed in social intercourse, responded that no skill was
required to circulate these bicycles, which, owing to being surrounded
with air-cushions, would proceed _proprio motu_ and without meandering.

Thereupon Miss MANKLETOW expressed an ardent desire to behold myself
upon one of these same machines, and--as we were now close to the effigy
of Hon'ble Duke of WELLINGTON disguised as an Achilles, near which were
certain _bunniahs_ trafficking with bicycles--I, wishing to pleasure my
fair companion, approached one of these contractors and bargained with
him for the sole user of his vehicle for the space of one calendar hour,
to which he consented at the _honorarium_ of one rupee four annas.

But, on receiving the bicycle from his hands, I at once perceived myself
under a total impossibility of achieving its ascent--for no sooner had I
protruded one leg over the saddle than the foremost wheel averted
itself, and the entire machine bit the dust, which afforded lively and
infinite entertainment to my feminine companions.

I, however, reproached the _bunniah_ for furnishing a worn-out effete
affair that was not in working order or a going concern, but he, by
assuring me that it was all right, cajoled me into trying once more.

[Illustration: "I INSTANTANEOUSLY ENDURED THE TOTAL UPSET!"]

So, divesting myself of my fur-lined overcoat, which I commanded a
hobbardyhoy of the sweeper class to hold, I again mounted upon the
saddle, while the proprietor of the machine sustained it in a position
of rectitude, and then, supporting me by the superfluity of my
pantaloons, he propelled me from the rear, counselling me to press my
feet vigorously upo