tible a nonentity as you imagine. Listen to me; I am now to go to
the Foreign Office, and shall there assume the liberty of mentioning
your distinguished name as a referee."

With benevolent blandness he accorded me full permission to go where I
liked, and say anything I chose, recommending me warmly to depart
immediately.

Seeing him so well-disposed, I ventured, on taking my leave, to pat his
shoulder in friendly facetiousness, and to say, "It is all right, old
boy. Remember, I have complete _bona fides_ in your ability to work the
oracle for me successfully." Which rendered him _sotto voce_ with
gratification.

But alack! at the Foreign Office, after stating my business and sitting
like Patience on a Monument for two immortal hours, I was officially
informed that the Principal Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs was
not in, and that all the Private and Under Secretaries were equally
invisible.

This, I must respectfully submit, is not exactly the correct style to
conduct a first-class Empire!

XX

_Mr Jabberjee distinguishes himself in the Bar Examination, but is less
successful in other respects. He writes another extremely ingenious
epistle, from which he anticipates the happiest results._

I am happy to announce that I have passed the _pons asinorum_ of Bar
Exam with facility of a needle penetrating the camel's eye. _Tant
mieux!_ Huzza! Tol-de-rol-loll!!!

[Illustration: "HUZZA! TOL-DE-ROL-LOLL!"]

My dilatoriness in publishing this joyful intelligence is due to fact
that I have only recently received official information of my triumph,
which my family are now engaged in celebrating at Calcutta with paeans of
transport, illuminations, fireworks, an English brass band, and
delicacies supplied (on contract system) from Great Eastern Hotel.

And yet so great was my humility that, when I entered Lincoln's Inn Hall
one Monday shortly before 10 A.M., and received pens, some foolscaps,
and a printed exam paper on the Law of Real and Personal Property and
Conveyancing, I was at first as melancholy as a gib cat, and like to eat
my head with despair!

So much so that I began my answers by pathetically imploring my
indulgent father examiner to show me his bowels of compassion, on ground
that I was an unfortunate Bengalee chap, afflicted by narrow
circumstances and a raging tooth, and that my entire earthly felicity
depended upon my being favoured with qualifying marks.

However, on perusal