with great truthfulness, "_Rank is but a penny
stamp and a Man is a Man and all that._" Nevertheless, for the present,
I am resolved to remain mum as a mouse.

Since I am now in their pockets for a perpetuity, I was privileged on a
recent evening to escort the ALLBUTT-INNETT ladies to the Empire of
India Exhibition, upon which I shall now pronounce the opinion of an
expert, though space forbids me to describe its multitudinous marvels,
save with the brevity of a soul of wit.

In the Cinghalese Palace we beheld a highly pious _Yogi_ from Ceylon,
who had trained himself to perform his devotions with one of his legs
embracing his neck, or walking upon the caps of his knees with his toes
inserted into his waistband. But I am not convinced that such a style of
prayer-making is at all superior in reverence to more ordinary
attitudes, especially when exhibited publicly for an _honorarium_.

I feel proud to narrate that, at Miss WEE-WEE'S urgent entreaties, I
subdued my native funkiness so far as to make the revolution of the
Gigantic Wheel, in spite of grave apprehensions that it would prove but
a house of cards, or suddenly become totally immobile--though to pass
interminable hours at a lofty attitude with such a lively companion
might, on secondary thoughts, have possessed pleasing saccharine
compensations. Nevertheless, I was relieved when we descended without
having hitched anywhere, and I did most firmly decline to fly in the
face of Providence for five shillings in the basket of a captive
balloon.

The Indian street is constructed with cleverness, but gives a very, very
inadequate idea of the principal Calcutta thoroughfares; moreover, to
cultivated Indian intellects, the fuss made by English ladies over
native artisans and mechanics of rather so-so abilities and appearance
seems a little ludicrous!

After dining, we witnessed the Historical Spectacle of India in the
Empress Theatre, and Miss WEE-WEE made the criticism that the fall of
Somnath was accomplished with a too great facility, since its so-called
defenders did lie down with perfect tameness and counterfeit death
immediately the army of Sultan MAHMUD galloped their horses through the
gateway.

But this appeared to me rather a typical and prudent exercise of their
discretion.

It seems--though (in spite of extensive historical researches) I was in
previous ignorance of the fact--that Sultan MAHMUD, the Great Mogul
AKBAR, and SIVAJI, the Mahratta Chief,