friends and his families
with such a bone of contention as a European better half, who will
infallibly plunge him into the pretty pickle of innumerable family jars!
I shall now vacate the witness-box in favour of my intimate friend and
fatherly benefactor, Hon'ble Sir CHETWYND CUMMERBUND, who will tell
you----

_The Judge_ (_rising_). Before we have the pleasure of seeing Sir
CHETWYND here, Mr JABBERJEE, there is a little formality you appear to
have overlooked. The plaintiff's counsel will probably wish before you
leave the box to put a few questions to you in cross-examination, and
that must stand over till to-morrow. (_At this, old Jab's jaw falls
several holes._)

NOTE BY MR JABBERJEE.--_Hereford Road, Bayswater._--I am excessively
gratified by the result of my first day's trial, being already
the established favourite and chartered libertine of the whole
Court, who split their sides at my slightest utterances. So I am
no longer immeasurably alarmed by the prospect of being crossly
examined--especially since WITHERINGTON, Q.C., has abandoned his brief
in despair to a tongue-tied junior, who is incompetent to exclaim Bo! to
a goose. Indeed, I have some thoughts of declining haughtily to be
interrogated by a mere underling.

The only fly in the ointment of my success is the utter indifference of
JESSIMINA to my aforesaid triumphs. At the termination of the hearing
to-day, I beheld her so deeply engrossed in smiling and cordial converse
with the smartly-attired curly-headed young solicitor who is acting on
her behalf that she was totally unconscious of my vicinity!

Alackaday! _varium et mutabile semper foemina!_

XXX

_Mankletow ~v.~ Jabberjee (part heard.) Mr Jabberjee finds
cross-examination much less formidable than he had anticipated._

It is now the second day of my celebrated case, which is such a
transcendental success that already the Court is tight as a drum, while
a vast disappointed crowd is barricading imploringly at the doors!

I was about to harangue these unfortunates, assuring them I was not
responsible for their exclusion, and promising to exert my utmost
influence with the Hon'ble Judge that they were all to be admitted.

But my solicitor, seizing me by the forearm, hurried me through the
entrance with the friendly recommendation that I was not to be the
bally-fool.

In the trough I perceive JESSIMINA seated, in a hat even more
resplendently becoming than her yesterday head-