s, very injudiciously, saddled upon my feeble back. Mr
CHUCKERBUTTY RAM, of 15 Jubilee Terrace, Clapham, was present at my
first wedding, and will doubtless certify to same on application.

Ever yours faithfully and devotedly,

H. B. J.

In writing the above, I was well aware that there is a strong prejudice
in the mind of European feminines in favour of monogamy, and my letter
(as will be seen by the intelligent reader) was rather cleverly composed
so as to shift the burden of breach of contract from my shoulders to
hers.

So that I rubbed my hands with gleeful jubilation on receiving her reply
that she was astounded with wonderment at the sublimity of my cheek in
supposing that she would play the subordinate fiddle to any native wife,
and that she had communicated with CHUCKERBUTTY RAM, Esq., and if my
statement _re_ infant marriage (which at present she suspected to be a
mere spoof) proved correct, she would certainly decline my insulting
offer.

Now as it is the undeniable fact that I was wedded when a mere juvenile,
I shall save my brush from this near shave--provided that Mr
CHUCKERBUTTY RAM has received my tip in time and does not, like Hon'ble
CUMMERBUND, go beyond his instructions.

But this is not reasonably probable, Baboo CHUCKERBUTTY RAM being a
tolerably discreet, subtle chap.

XXI

_Mr Jabberjee halloos before he is quite out of the Wood._

Being (to my best of belief) satisfactorily off with the old love, I
naturally became as playful as a kitten or gay as a grig. For the most
superficial observer, and with the half of a naked optic, could easily
discern the immeasurable superiority of Miss WEE-WEE to JESSIMINA in all
the refinements and delicacies of a real English lady, and although, up
to present date, the timidity of girlishness has restrained Miss
ALLBUTT-INNETT from reciprocating my increasing spooniness, her parents
and brother are of an overwhelming cordiality, and repeatedly mention
their ardent hope that I may become their guest up in the hills some
time this autumn.

So that Hope is already recommencing to hop jauntily about the secret
chamber of my heart.

For, seeing the magnanimous contempt for the snobbishness of chasing a
tuft that actuates their bosoms, I am no longer apprehensive that their
affection for this present writer will be at all impaired by the
revelation that he is merely a member of nature's nobility. Rather the
contrary.

As Poet BURNS remarks