cal Scotticism for individuals
belonging to the rabbit genius), there came to me my young friend
HOWARD, who was to teach my young idea how to shoot, in great gloom,
asking me if it would take me a prolonged period to pack up my
_impedimenta_.

I replied that I could do the trick instantaneously, inquiring the
reason for his question.

"Because," said he, "if I were you, I should have a wire requiring me to
come up to London at once."

"From my solicitor?" I inquired. "Is he then desirous of consulting with
me?"

My friend answered me that it was the one object of his present
existence.

"In that case," said I, rather spiritedly, "let him come up here, since
I am not a mountain that I should obey the becking call of any Mahomet.
Moreover, I am impatient to achieve the destruction of some Scottish
roberts."

"If you will take my advice," he said, "you will grant them a reprieve,
and make a scarcity of yourself. There is a train for Glasgow which you
can just catch. I wouldn't distress the Mater and Governor by any
farewells, you know."

"But," I objected, "I am not even in receipt of any telegram. Nor can I
possibly omit the etiquette of a ceremonious leave-taking with your
honourable parents."

"Just as you please," replied he. "Just now the Governor and Mater are
in the front sitting-room, engaged in perusing the back numbers of your
precious 'Jossers and Tidlers' or whatever you call 'em, which have been
thoughtfully forwarded by a relative. I don't think I'd disturb them."

"Are they so hugely interested in the performances of my unassuming
_penna_?" I cried, with the gratified simpering of a flattered.

"It looked like it when I left the room," said he; "the Mater was very
near rolling on the oilcloth, and the Governor dancing and foaming from
his mouth. What an awfully old ass you have been, JAB, to go and blurt
out everything in print--about your breach of promise case, and getting
to know us, and--worst of all--being merely a bogey prince. Naturally,
we don't care about being made to look fools. The dear old Mater, you
know, is one of those simple, trusting natures that, if they once
discover they have been taken in by a sham title, why, they kick up the
row of a deuce! And, as for the Governor, he's the sort of old retiring
chap that has a downright loathing of publicity, when it makes him
ridiculous. If he came across you just now, there's really no saying
what he mightn't do. He's such a devilish