in air, plenty of honest
green grass and--and--_neighbors_! There's just a few things you ain't
got in New York. Cousin Alice tells me she was here two years before
she knowed the folks in the next flat. That shows you people is
suspicious. You know you're rubes and you're afraid to welcome the
stranger for fear he'll sell you one of them, now, gold bricks. I also
hear you pay five and six dollars for a seat at an entertainment. You
so-called wise New Yorkers pays that much for tickets and then go in
and laugh your fool heads off at a scene showin' a, now, farmer bein'
stung! Ha, ha, ha! You--"

We was up at the flat then, and I let him rave on, tryin' not to get
peeved, so's we'd have some peace and quiet in the family. I knew if
he kept on pannin' my town, I'd get sore and bite him or somethin'--and
then the wife wouldn't gimme no smile for a month. Alex was a new one
on me so far, but I figured that in a couple of days he'd be tellin'
the world that New York was the greatest place on earth and people that
lived anywheres else must be nutty--the way they all do.

After supper the wife calls up a girl friend of hers so's we can make
up a little theatre party. Me and Alex goes into the parlor for a
smoke, and I asked him how he come to be in our mongst if he already
knowed what a hick town New York was.

"I come here to make good," he tells me, "because, in my opinion, this
is the easiest place in the world to do that thing. This town is no
different than Ann Harbor or New Haven, except that it's bigger--that's
all! The trouble with most fellows that come here from a small town
is, they let New York get under their skin and it takes their nerve
before they get started. Advertisin' is what has made this town what
it is to-day and nothin' else. It's easier to make good here than it
is in a burg, because in your own town everybody knows you and now
fourflushin' will get you nothin'. There's so many people here that a
feller can keep _some_ of 'em guessin' all the time. All anybody needs
to get ahead here is confidence--"

"Well," I butts in, "if all a guy needs is confidence, you ought to be
a knockout! What are you figurin' on doin' first?"

"I'll look around to-morrow," he says. "I wanna start off with the
hardest proposition in the town right away. Out in my town five of us
fellers formed a little club. Each of us has swore to come to New York
one after the other and make good in six months to