a year, just to show
you folks how easy it is. For one thing, we all got our own private
little plans for winnin' out here and every one of us is goin' to go at
the proposition from a brand new angle. I was elected to be the first
one, and that's why I'm here."

"Alex," I says, "you're an ambitious feller, and I gotta hand it to
you. I don't doubt you'll go a long ways at that, if you don't get
pinched for speedin'. But this stuff you're pullin' about dear old
Manhattan gets under my collar! I hate to hear you pan the capital of
the world in that rough way of yours, and when you claim it's a simple
matter to make good here, you have gone and pulled a bone. If it's as
soft as you say, I must of lost the combination or somethin', because
it took me thirty years to get over right here, and, at that, I ain't
causin' Rockefeller or George M. Cohan no worry! So just to show you
that your dope is all wrong and that you're due to hit the bumps if you
play it out, I'll lay you eight to five you muff the very first thing
you try here--what d'ye say?"

He looks at me for a minute and shakes his head.

"I don't want to deprive my Cousin Alice of no luxuries," he tells me,
"or I'd snap you right up on that."

"I see they're still makin' 'em yellah up in Vermont!" I sneers.

"D'ye mean to insinuate that I'm a quitter?" he asks me, gettin' red.

"You ought to be a fortune teller!" I says.

"By gravy, I'll take you up!" he hollers. "I got five hundred dollars
in my left shoe and I might as well add to it now as later. I'll bet
you the five hundred to your eight hundred that the first thing I
tackle here, I make good!"

"You hate yourself, don't you?" I says.

"Who's yellah now?" he comes back.

"The canary," I tells him. "You're on!"

Just then the door-bell rings, and they was sounds of kissin' by women
principals in the hall. In walks the wife with what looks to me like a
opium-eater's dream and a Fifth Avenue evenin' gown model combined.
Alex takes one flash and turns red, white and blue.

"This is my friend Eve Rossiter," says the wife. "My husband, Eve, and
my cousin, Alex Hanley."

"Charmed!" breathes Eve, pullin' a smile that lit up the room.

"Me and you both!" I says.

But Alex clears his throat, grits his teeth and flushes up. They was a
glitter in his eye and he begins to talk fast and hard.

"Howdy, Miss Rossiter!" he says, shakin' hands like he was bein' give a
knockdown to the new bartende