could of seen, everything is O.K. again.

"Well," I says, finally, "you ain't mad at me no more, heh, honey?"

She wags her head, no.

"We got _that_ all settled, heh?" I says.

Her head is on my shoulder and why shouldn't it be, and she says yes.

They is a pause. To bust it up, I coughs.

"If that pest Alex wasn't comin' here to-night," I says, "we might go
to the theatre."

"The _movies_ hurts my eyes!" she answers, givin' me a sarcastical
smile.

"D'ye mean to give the neighbors the idea I have never staked you to
nothin' but the movies?" I hollers, gettin' sore, naturally enough.

"Don't be callin' my cousin no pest!" she says and--well, we're off
again!

In less than five minutes, some new-comers which has a flat across the
hall, knocks on the dumbwaiter bell furiously. I answered.

"Why don't you people let go?" inquires a harsh voice. "We can't stand
that tourney in there no longer!"

"They ain't no way of puttin' a man in jail for movin'," I says.

"The idea of a man hollerin' at his wife like that!" comes a female
voice in back of this guy.

"Shut up--I'm doin' this!" exclaims her lovin' spouse,--and then they
had a melee of their own!

In the middle of this our doorbell rings and in comes Alex.

"They should of named this apartment house the Verdun," he says. "They
seems to be a battle goin' on here every time I come up! I could hear
every word you people was sayin' as plain as day, away out in the hall!"

"What did you come in for then?" I asks him. "Especially as you could
hear this was the rush hour!"

He ignores me and kisses the wife--a thing he knows gets me wild.

"Now, boys!" butts in the wife, splittin' her world famous grin
fifty-fifty, "let's stop quarrelin'. They ain't a reason on earth why
we can't be friends, even if we are relatives."

"When are you gonna have dinner?" asks Alex.

"This here's eatless night with us," I says. "Not to give you a short
answer."

"Don't pay no attention to him, Alex," says the wife. "You know you
can eat here whenever you want."

"Sure!" I says. "Don't mind me. All I gotta do is pay for this
stuff--that's all!"

The wife gimme a bitter glance.

"That's right," she says. "Tell the world that I have wed a tightwad!"

"What d'ye mean?" I hollers. "I'm as loose as ashes with my money and
they ain't nobody knows it better than you. I don't even moan over the
monthly phone bill, which from the last one you musta been callin'