amous on that one line. They's millions of people have repeated both
of them remarks since. As far as the last one is concerned, it's about
died out now and cracked ice has started gettin' acquainted with
lemonade and the like instead of its old haunts, Scotch, Rye and Gin,
which has pulled a Rip Van Winkle. I never told no man I was a fortune
teller, but if I was a bartender right now, believe me, I'd spend my
nights off studyin' the art of makin' chocolate nut sundaes and
pineapple ice cream sodas, because the time has come with alarmin'
suddenness when alcohol will be used only for rubbin' baby's head when
he falls off of the table and the like.

However, that ain't neither here or there, as the guy says which
mislaid his watch, so let's get back to the bird which said, "Be sure
you're right, then go ahead!" That may be a good line, but it's poor
dope for the young. I'll tell the world fair that no winner ever got
paid off by stickin' strictly to that. If Columbus had waited till
somebody sent him a souvenir postal from the Bronx, so's he'd be sure
they really was some choice real estate over here, he never would of
discovered America. Napoleon would never of got further than bein' a
buck private in the army if he'd of played safe instead of goin' ahead
on the "I Should Worry!" plan. I could name a million more guys which
got over along the same lines only I hate to walk to the library. But
pick up any newspaper and the front page will give you the answer. The
guys that go over the top in this well known universe are the boys
which goes ahead _first_ and figures what chances they got afterwards.
They let the results they get tell whether they're _right_ or not. I
don't mean a guy should bust the traffic laws of any of the prominent
virtues in order to be a success, they ain't a game on earth that can't
be played on the level and won clean, but instead of askin' yourself,
"Can I do it?" say, "This will be _soft_ for me!" and you're a odds on
favorite to win!

Me and the wife is sittin' down to breakfast one mornin', and I have
barely had time to find fault with the eggs when they's a ring at the
bell.

"See who that is, will you, dear?" says the wife, turnin' a page of the
_Mornin' Shrapnel_ and shootin' the smile that used to jam the Winter
Garden in my direction. "You know how tired I am in the mornings."

"Yeh," I says, very sarcastical. "Eatin' grape fruit is enough to wear
down the strongest. Si