s everything except Alex serious.
"Why, all New York seems to be on Broadway!"

"That's what people from Chicago always thinks," I says. "But they's
more to the town than that."

"Oh, hush that near comedy," says the wife. "C'mon, we're going to see
'Wronged By Mistake.'"

"I'll see Beryldine Nearer," I says in a loud and angry voice, "or we
don't go nowhere!"

We went to see "Wronged By Mistake."

The movin' picture company which is responsible for this film claims it
cost them $100,000 to make the picture. Maybe it did, I don't know.
What I do know is that it cost me $1000 to see it! Why? Lend me your
ears, as the dumb guy said.

The hero of this here picture was no less than Carrington De Vire.
This guy's name is familiar in burgs where they don't know if Wilson or
Washington is still president of the United States. His name is on
more collars than you ever seen and he gets more money a week than you
and me makes in six years, even if you cut his advertised salary in
half. He's prob'ly caused more girls to take their pens in hand than
any massage cream in the world and to say he is a handsome dog is like
remarkin' that the Grand Canyon is pleasant to look at. The only
magazine which ain't printed his photo at least once with a auto, a
country place and a coupla trick dogs at his side is the _Hardware
Trade Review_ and the _Steamfitters' Friend_.

The minute Carrington De Vire appears on the screen and gives the
natives a treat by presentin' one and all with a pleasant smile, the
wife and Eve begins to rave about him out loud. He kisses the leadin'
woman and they let forth a sigh which would of made me jealous only I
got too much brains. The villain slams him, prob'ly because he got
sick of lookin' at the big fathead, and the women groans. He knocks
the villain kickin' and they applaud their hands off and when he fights
his way through a gang of supes which will lose their jobs if they
don't fall when he hits 'em, I thought most of the female part of the
audience would pass away with joy!

"I think he's simply wonderful, don't you?" murmurs Eve to the wife.

They is no argument about it.

Alex give a snort.

"If they's anything wonderful about that feller," he says, "then I'm
more astonishin' than wireless. Anybody can do that stuff! Why--"

"Why, the idea!" butts in Eve. "I actually believe you're jealous. I
think Carrington De Vire is simply divine--marvelous!"

"Wait till you see Nia