s Bessie got more and more friendly. I was the first to
leave, and she to ask what was my hurry. When I thought I had been
detaining her too long for my moderate compliment, she would say, "Oh!
never mind, I'll make ten shillings do,--I'm not in debt,--before the
theatres are over I dare say I'll get engaged." It was impossible to
avoid seeing she was getting affectionate. She would sit or lay talking,
feeling, or kissing me for hours, whilst her expressions of pleasure
when I was stirring up her vitals equalled those of any woman who has
ever loved me or enjoyed my embraces.

One night I was charged twice for the room, for stopping long, and
said something about not being able to afford it. That brought forth a
proposition, one of the most curious I ever had in my life.

Said she, "It's a lot of money to spend on the rooms,--come to my rooms;
they would be too humble for you, but they are clean and nice,--drop me
a line, and I will always be at home,--and you would be more comfortable
than at these houses, and have nothing to pay." Then after hesitation,
and as if reflecting, she said she lived in the New North road where she
had either a small house or rooms in one, I don't quite recollect which.
"It's paid for by a friend of mine, he gives me ten shillings a week.
Now don't think little of me because I tell you this,--he is only a
cabman, he sleeps with me nearly always, he's a nice clean, steady man,
and behaves well to me; but I don't like him since I've known you. You
can come when you like, and sleep with me when you like,--I'll give
him up, he shall never come near me again, and I'll always be there for
you,--you will see what a large comfortable bed I've got,--but you must
pay for the rooms, I must feel sure of a roof over me,--I don't care
about anything else,--then you can see me when you like, give me what
you like,--nothing if you have not got it,--I don't want your money,
I'll get that as I now do."

She said all this in a humble way looking at me, tears half filled her
eyes, her tone was sad; it was in its way a clear but simple declaration
of affection for me. I saw it, felt it, but shunned it; for a strange
dislike to a gay woman loving me came over me, some sort of undefined
idea that I should be a species of fancy-man, a man whom I always
thought at that time was a baudy house bully; and the offer of Bessie
oppressed me.

I told her she was very kind, that I appreciated it, but it was a long
way o