She
sat looking at me for some time, then she arose, stooped over me, and
kissed me. I turned round, and--how strange that in my despair I noticed
it, and now recollect noticing it!--as she stooped her chemise opened,
and as I put my arm round her, her breasts touched my face, and as I
moved to kiss them I saw her whole lovely form down to her feet, the
dark hair of her motte, the bright white scar; and all in the soft
subdued light which is on a woman's body when enveloped in a thin
chemise,--and my prick stood whilst kissing her and sobbing, and she
was soothing me.

"It's of no use your loving me," she said, "and it's of no use my loving
you,--don't take on so,--perhaps when I am gone you will be happier at
home,--I can't love you, although I like you very much, for you have
been a good, kind man to me,--I nearly do love you I think,--if I were
with you I'm sure I should,--but it's of no use, for I am a married
woman, and have two children, and am going with them and my husband."

I was amazed, and doubted it. "I'll bring you my children to see," said
she, "it was to get them their dinners and tea that I always left you
at times as I have." "And at night?" "I always go home before he comes
home." "You always go home to your husband?" "Yes."

How I loathed that man!--my loathing rose to my lips. "That miserable
contemptible cur lives by your body,--a dirty vagabond." "No he's
not,--poor fellow, he would earn our living if he could, but he can't."
"I don't believe it,--a man who lives by a woman is barely a man,--I
would empty cesspools to keep a woman I loved, rather than another man
should stroke her,--no good can come of it,--he'll leave you for some
other woman some day." Sarah turned nasty, said she was sorry she had
told me so much, that all I said against him only made her like him the
more; and so leaving me in sorrow she went away.

Now that I felt sure she was going away, I could not see too much of
her; morning, noon, and night I had her. She brought her two children to
me, and very proud she was of them. How it was I never noticed the marks
of childbirth on her before I know not, but I never had. I spoke of
that now. "I took good care you should not," said she smiling, and I
recollected that when I had her by the side of the bed, when I looked at
her on the sofa, it was nearly always with her back to the light; when
laying on the bed, and I tried to gratify my passion by opening her
thighs, and gazing o