iners, L36 8_s._ Pain, 2_s._ Champagne, L47. Liqueurs,
15_s._ Addition, 3_s._

In all, L89 8_s._--(This is one of the few restaurants where a charge is
made for the addition.)

"Make out the bill," said I, "in francs, and send it to the executors of
Mademoiselle Faustine."

II.

Monsieur Victor de Train-de-Luxe is in many respects a delightful
person. In other ways he is not. For instance, because he was,
accidentally, the cause of my backing a winner at Ascot (simply by means
of ordinary stable information), he had the bad taste to suggest that I
should stand him a dinner.

I said, "Certainly, my dear Comte" (Comte being the courtesy title I
invariably give to foreigners from whom I have the hope of borrowing
money).

"Where shall it be?"

"There is only one place where one _can_ dine," I said.

"Of course--the Bon Marche," he replied.

"No," I answered. "No, _mon ami_. If you wish to eat a really
characteristic English dinner, come to the Vegetarian Restaurant in
Edgware Road. Come along. Come, _now_!"

"But it's only six o'clock. I am not hungry."

"All the better," I replied. And I also pointed out to him that the best
way to see London is outside an omnibus. So we started.

* * * * *

Arrived at the restaurant, I was enthusiastically received by the
courteous cashier, who presented me with a previous bill, which, I
noticed, had not been receipted. I said I thought it rather rude to
present a gentleman with a bill which they hadn't taken the trouble to
receipt.

We sat down.

"I'm glad," I said to Victor, "that I didn't know this dinner was coming
off to-day. If I had had notice, I might have ordered it beforehand; and
a dinner, to be perfection, should be eaten, if possible, on the day it
is cooked. At least, that's what I always think. I may be wrong."

Monsieur de Train-de-Luxe smiled, said I was a _farceur_, and I ordered
our dinner.

First, some turnip turtle soup, then, ortolans of spinach and mashed
potatoes, followed by a canvas-backed duck made of Indian corn, and
last, not least, plum-pudding. As all will agree, this makes a very
delicious and seasonable repast. Long dinners have quite gone out of
fashion. And this was washed down with a sparkling bottle of orange
champagne, '97.

My friend Victor, who is rather a _gourmet_, was so struck with the
first mouthful of soup, that he said it was quite enough, observing, he
had never tasted anything like it.

Pleased with this