in the least if six months from now the
mayor of London would be going round saying, 'Why should we give that
feller a gold casket--am I right or wrong?'--and let the whole
gold-casket thing die a natural death."

"They'll probably come across with it after a few how-about-casket
cables, and, anyhow, if they didn't, Abe, the English people certainly
done enough for Mr. Wilson," Morris continued, "because that newspaper
reporter told me that the reception which Mr. Wilson got in London was
something enormous, y'understand. The King and Queen was waiting to meet
him and the station platform was covered with a red-velvet pile carpet
which was so thick, understand me, that they 'ain't been able as yet to
locate a couple of suit-cases which was carelessly put down by the Rutt
Hon. the Duke of Warrington, K.G.Y., Y.M.H.A., First Lord Red Cap in
Waiting, and sunk completely out of sight while he helped a couple of
Assistant Red Caps in Waiting, also dukes, load the Presidential
wardrobe trunks on the Royal Baggage Transfer truck."

"What do you mean--also dukes?" Abe demanded. "Do you mean to say that
the Red Caps which hustles the King's baggage is dukes?"

"At the very least," Morris declared, "because the Master of the Royal
Fox-hounds is an earl, Abe, and I leave it to you, Abe, if handling
baggage ain't a better job than feeding dogs. Also, Abe, there is Lords
in Waiting and Ladies in Waiting, and it wouldn't surprise me in the
slightest if during their stay in Buckingham Palace some of the members
of Mr. Wilson's party which ain't been tipped off have telephoned down
to the office for towels and kept the Marquis of Hendersonville, Lanes
County, England, Knight Commander of the Bath, waiting at the bedroom
door ten minutes, while they went through all their clothes trying to
find something smaller than a quarter to slip him."

"And do you believe for one moment, Mawruss--if there was a Marquis of
Hendersonville, which I never heard of such a person, Mawruss--and he
did happen to be Knight Commander of the Bath, y'understand, that he is
actually handing out soap and towels in the King of England's palace?"
Abe inquired.

"Certainly I don't believe it," Morris replied, "and I also don't
believe that calling anybody Right Honorable is going to make him any
more right than he is honorable, unless, of course, he is honorable to
start with and really and truly wants to be right, y'understand. And
that is what Mr. Wilson we